How Being Single For A Long Time Prepared Me For A Serious Relationship

How Being Single For A Long Time Prepared Me For A Serious Relationship ©iStock/Ridofranz

There was a time when I thought I’d be single forever. After going through a lot of heartbreak, I decided to just focus on myself for a while and build my life. Years passed; suddenly I met someone awesome and my entire life changed quickly. Now that I’m in a serious relationship, I see how much I’ve grown and how my single years helped prepare me for long-term love.

  1. I found out what it’s like to be truly independent. Independence is both exhilarating and exhausting. Being able to provide everything I need and want for myself is great, but it’s not easy. Having successfully done so for several years, I can cross that off my bucket list now and appreciate how nice it is to have a partner.
  2. I had plenty of time to work through my past heartbreak. The fact that I didn’t jump into another relationship for several years benefited me because I was able to leave all of my exes in the past (where they belong) before moving forward into the future. It wasn’t an easy road, but time heals all wounds.
  3. I experienced all the single life has to offer. Even though many of my experiences being single were terrible, I’m glad I had them because I never have to wonder what it’s like on the other side. I know exactly what it’s like to be single, and I hope I never know the feeling again.
  4. I had time to build my career in preparation for a family. When I look back at how far I’ve come career-wise in the last four years, it’s amazing. The life I’ve built for myself is also a great foundation on which to start a family. When I’m ready, I’ll be well prepared to give my future husband and kid(s) a great life.
  5. I experimented with casual sex and got it out of my system. Prior to my extended singledom, I’d never had casual sex, and everyone made it seem so fun. Naturally, I was curious, so I took the opportunity to experiment. Ultimately, I discovered that I’m too much of a romantic to enjoy casual sex. Having crossed that off my bucket list, I can happily stick to my amazing monogamous love-making.
  6. I’ve experienced the joy of living alone. I seriously love living alone, and I’m glad I didn’t jump right into another relationship or opt to live with roommates. Coming home at night and relaxing in my clean quiet apartment with a glass of wine is amazing; I still live alone and someday I’ll look back on this time with fondness when it’s gone.
  7. I was able to witness the power of love firsthand before it happened to me. During my single years, I saw almost all of my friends find love and start new families, even the ones who swore up and down they’d never walk up to another altar again. I was able to stand next to them on their respective wedding days and see firsthand how powerful love is. Because of that, I was able to start believing in love again, which really came in handy when it knocked on my door.
  8. I learned how to love myself first. It sounds like a cliche, but I really did need to learn how to love myself before I could effectively love someone else. My years of living independently gave me a new respect and love for myself, which allowed me to love someone else when the right one finally came along. I finally feel like I’ve come full circle, and I’m ready for my next adventure: forever.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.