What Your Friends Are Really Thinking When You Decide To Get Back With Your Ex Again

Your friends will likely be as supportive as they can when you’re going through a nasty breakup, but it’s hard to be supportive when you decide to get back together with the guy shortly after. Things didn’t work out for a reason, and that reason was bad enough to warrant a full-blown breakup. When you forget that and go running back to him, your friends are left sitting in the big pile of confusion, tears and empty ice cream containers that you leave behind. They might be able to manage some awkward smiles when you make your cringe-worthy “getting back together” announcement, but their bad poker faces can only hide so much. They’re thinking things that they don’t want to say to your face.

  1. “Is she stupid?” There’s nothing intelligent about dating a steaming pile of cow dung and then willingly going back to him after breaking up for the zillionth time. That kind of mentality is sheer stupidity. It won’t get you anywhere in life and it’ll probably leave your friends questioning your mental capacity.
  2. “What does she see in him?” If your relationship was actually healthy, repeated breakups wouldn’t happen. It’s just sexy physics. Something is wrong with the guy and there’s something wrong with you too when you see a human sh*t stain as desirable or ideal. When he insults and belittles you and you sit there and do nothing, your friends are going to wonder what species of brain parasite it is that makes you like him at all. Even if he’s not horrible to you, if your relationship is off as much as it’s on, you’re probably not meant to be together.
  3. “I wonder how long it’ll last this time.” You know it’s bad when your friends are making bets about the duration of your latest rekindle-a-thon. It’s safe to assume that their coworkers and deceased relatives are in on it too. For your sake, the winner should probably spend the money on a fancy sign that says, “I TOLD YOU SO.” Hopefully that will be enough to snap you out of the vicious cycle when you go through yet another breakup with the same guy.
  4. “Please stop bitching about it.” Why subject yourself to a relationship if all you’re going to do is complain about it? Unless you’re complaining to your pets, your friends are probably the ones hearing the radioactive bitchfest spewing out of your mouth constantly. If you’re genuinely surprised that getting back with your ex has backfired, do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself.
  5. “This shouldn’t be my problem.” When you bring the situation up over and over again and sulk when you’re with your friends, it becomes their problem. Your relationship shouldn’t affect the group’s collective mood. You’re a buzzkill. Please cease and desist.
  6. “The tunnel vision staggering.” You are honed in on a single goal: make the relationship work. You fail to see the full picture and refuse to take anyone’s advice on the situation. You’re hurting yourself and your own long-term goals. How will you accomplish any of them if you’re blinded by a destructive relationship that’s doomed to fail anyway? Your friends aren’t planning their lives around “doomed to fail” and you shouldn’t either.
  7. “Get a life.” Do you really have nothing better to do than get back together with the guy you’ve broken up with repeatedly? There are much better things you could be doing with your time, like drinking or developing a garden gnome addiction.
  8. “I can’t believe this is happening again.” It’s frustrating for your friends to watch you go through the same motions for the umpteenth time and never learn your lesson. It’s okay to fail, but it’s not okay to ignore those failures going forward and annoy the hell out of your friends in the process. If you want to get back with your Kafkaesque prince, do it where no one can hear or see you.
  9. “What can I say to make her realize how ridiculous this is?” Your friends don’t want to see you get hurt. They really don’t. It’s painful to watch and helping you pick up the pieces is tiring for them. While they’re watching you suffer needlessly, they’re racking their brains for the right thing to say to help you see everything for what it is. They’d much rather spare you pain than watch you fall, but it’s hard to find a balance between “helpful” and “insulting.”
  10. “I hope they don’t get married.” Some people think that putting a cheap ring on it will magically fix everything and make their “love” stronger. Signing a piece of paper and legally binding yourself to a jerk won’t change anything. It will just make your life harder down the road when you inevitably have to go through a long, expensive divorce. Expect rolling eyes and frustrated sighs when you announce your engagement to the guy you broke up with sixteen times last month alone.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.