21 Signs He Won’t Ever Come Back (And 7 Signs He Will)

Breaking up is never easy, and the aftermath can be a roller coaster of emotions. You might find yourself constantly wondering if there’s any chance of rekindling the relationship, or if it’s time to truly move on. Recognizing the signs can help you understand where he stands and what to expect. While every person and situation is unique, some patterns can offer clarity. Here’s how you know he will never come back (as well as some indicators that he might be keen on a second chance).

Signs he won’t come back and has truly moved on

1. He’s in a new relationship.

Finding out your ex is seeing someone new can sting, especially if it happens shortly after the breakup. While rebounds can be common, if he seems deeply invested in this new relationship, sharing experiences and showing genuine happiness, it might mean he’s putting your past together behind him. If he’s making future plans with them, introducing them to family, or celebrating milestones, it’s a sign he’s looking forward.

2. He’s moved away.

A change of address, especially to a new city or country, can signify a fresh start. If he’s made this big decision without discussing it with you, he’s likely distancing himself from the memories and places you shared. This could be his way of healing and starting anew, leaving the past behind.

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4. He’s gone no-contact and ignores your attempts to reach out.

Communication is key in any relationship, and the lack of it can speak volumes. If he’s consistently not returning your calls, ignoring messages, or seems evasive, he might be signaling that he’s moved on. It’s hard to face, but consistent silence usually means he’s detaching and doesn’t see a future reconnection.

5. He avoids common friends and hangouts.

Remember that cafe you both loved? Or those mutual friends you’d spend weekends with? If he’s suddenly avoiding these places or distancing himself from mutual connections, it’s often a way to minimize the chances of running into you. The emotional pain might be too fresh, or he might be making a conscious effort to move on by changing his usual circles.

6. He’s unfollowed or even blocked you on social media.

Digital detox is real. If he’s removed you from social media or even blocked you, it’s a clear sign he’s trying to create a barrier. Social media can serve as a constant reminder of past relationships, and his decision to cut digital ties may mean he’s looking to heal without those reminders.

7. He’s already given you your stuff back.

There’s a certain finality in returning personal items post-breakup. If he’s dropped off all your belongings or asked for his stuff back without using it as an excuse to see you, he might be drawing a line under the relationship.

8. He tells you to move on.

Sometimes, it’s as direct as it sounds. If in conversations, he advises you to find someone new or wishes you happiness with someone else, he’s letting you know that he sees the end of the road for your romantic relationship.

9. He’s indifferent towards you

Anger, sadness, and even jealousy can sometimes mean there’s unresolved emotion. However, indifference is a strong indicator that the feelings have truly faded. If he seems utterly unbothered by what you’re doing, who you’re with, or how you feel, it’s a sign that he’s detached emotionally.

10. He ignores significant events.

Forget about anniversaries, but even if he’s forgetting or outright ignoring special dates like your birthday, it speaks volumes. This detachment from moments that once meant something is a clear indication of his shift in priorities and feelings.

11. He avoids talking about the past.

If every attempt at reminiscing about the good times or discussing what went wrong is met with resistance or a quick change of topic, he’s likely done analyzing the relationship. He’s looking forward and doesn’t see value in rehashing the past.

12. His communication is purely transactional.

If the only texts you’re getting are about shared bills or picking up that forgotten sweater, it indicates that the emotional and personal connection is no longer there. When the depth diminishes and interactions become solely about logistics, it’s clear he’s compartmentalizing and moving past the relationship.

13. There’s a noticeable shift in his behavior.

Maybe he’s taken up new hobbies, changed his style, or is doing things he never would’ve done while he was with you. This reinvention can be a way of shedding the past and embracing a future that’s not tethered to old memories with you.

14. He’s not jealous.

You tell him about the new guy you’ve met or the date you went on last week, and there’s no hint of jealousy in his response. Instead, he might even seem genuinely happy for you. This absence of possessiveness or envy signals his emotional detachment from the relationship.

15. He’s not interested in the blame game

Earlier, post-breakup conversations might have been heated, filled with accusations and the “you did this” blame game. But now, he seems indifferent to dissecting what went wrong. This can be a sign he’s accepted the end and is not looking to reopen old wounds.

16. He avoids physical contact

If you do happen to meet, there’s a noticeable absence of warmth. No lingering hugs, no affectionate touches. This physical distance is often a reflection of emotional distance.

17. You feel it in your gut.

Intuition is powerful. If something deep down is telling you he’s moved on, there’s a good chance he has and that he won’t come back. It might be a combination of all the little signs, or just an overarching feeling. Trust yourself.

18. He’s become a closed book.

When your relationship was at its peak, he shared his dreams, fears, and daily anecdotes. Now, he’s become reserved, leaving you out of the loop of his life. This withholding of personal details is a conscious act of distancing and is a clear indicator that he’s redirecting his emotional energy elsewhere.

19. He’s unresponsive to your emotional cues.

If you’re upset or need emotional support and he seems disinterested or brushes off your feelings, it’s a glaring sign of disengagement. Relationships thrive on emotional connection, and his lack of responsiveness shows that he’s detached himself from the bond you once shared.

20. He’s made it clear he wants a fresh start.

Maybe he’s moved to a new city or has expressed a desire to reinvent himself – and these plans don’t include you. It’s not merely about seeking new experiences; it’s about reshaping his life in a way that consciously excludes the past – and by extension, you.

21. He’s stopped asking mutual friends about you.

Initially, post-breakup, there’s a natural curiosity: “How’s she doing?” or “Has she mentioned me?” But if that curiosity has died down and he no longer inquires about you, it’s evident he’s transitioning to a phase of indifference.

22. He’s deleted or archived shared memories.

This is the digital age’s version of returning letters and gifts. If he’s removed pictures, posts, or any other digital footprints of your relationship from social media or other platforms, it’s a way of decluttering his life of reminders linked to you.

Signs he will come back and give things another try

Breakups obviously sucks, but sometimes, after the initial pain fades, we start to see some signs that our ex might not be entirely over things. If you’re holding out a sliver of hope or just plain curious, here are some signs that suggest he might be thinking about a reunion.

1. He’s always finding excuses to reach out.

When an ex genuinely wants to move on, they usually create a distance to heal and refocus. However, if he’s reaching out more often than not, even for the littlest reasons, it’s a sign. It could be about a shared memory, a song that reminds him of you, or just asking how you’ve been. If he’s trying to keep that line of communication open, it could mean he misses the bond you two shared.

2. He’s genuinely interested in your life.

It’s one thing for an ex to ask about your well-being out of politeness, but another if he’s consistently showing genuine interest in your day-to-day life. Is he asking about that project you were anxious about or remembering little details you’ve mentioned before? This kind of investment and memory recall suggests he’s still emotionally connected.

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4. He talks about the good times a lot.

If your conversations often drift back to memories you’ve shared, the trips you took, or the inside jokes that only the two of you understand, it’s a sign. When someone is trying to move on, they tend to avoid these reminiscing conversations. But if he’s frequently dwelling on the past, especially the positive moments, he might be missing the relationship.

5. His friends subtly hint that he still has feelings for you.

Friends usually have an insider’s view of what’s going on post-breakup. If his close friends are dropping hints or suggesting that he’s not over you, it might be because he’s confided in them. While it’s essential not to read too much into every comment, consistent nudges from his circle can be revealing.

6. He’s open about his feelings and says he wants to try again.

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. If he’s outright sharing that he misses you or talks about feelings of regret, that’s a significant sign. It’s challenging for many to open up about these emotions, especially post-breakup. So, if he’s being candid about his feelings, he’s likely considering a comeback.

7. He’s hesitant to date others.

It’s common for people to seek solace in new relationships or casual dates after a breakup. But if you’ve heard through the grapevine (or directly from him) that he’s not dating or seems hesitant to dive into a new relationship, it could be a sign. He might still be processing his feelings for you and isn’t ready to replace or replicate what you two had.

8. His actions speak louder than words.

Maybe he’s not verbally expressive, but you notice him making an effort in other ways. It could be little gestures, like returning belongings he once claimed he lost, helping you out when you’re in a pinch, or just being there when you need someone to talk to.

These actions might suggest he’s trying to rebuild that lost connection or show he cares.

Remember, while these signs might give you hope, it’s always best to communicate directly and honestly. Gauge where you both are and decide if revisiting the relationship is the right thing for you both. Just because you love each other doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meant to be.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill