If A Guy Freaks Out When You Text Him First, He’s Not Worth Your Time

You meet a guy, exchange numbers, send a “hey, would love to hang out sometime” text and then… silence. What scared him away —  a woman expressing her interest in him through text? There are plenty of things that could be going through his mind upon reading your message, but none of them have anything to do with you. Here are some possibilities:

He just wishes he was man enough to do it.

The second he sees that you’ve already texted him, he might be thinking to himself how much of a wimp you must think he is and that he should have done it first. You aren’t thinking that he’s a wimp AT ALL, but a guy with crippling low self-esteem will jump to that conclusion and then proceed to shut down the whole interaction. Wow.

He doesn’t like being told what to do and that’s not your problem.

Some guys only hear the voices of their nagging mothers when they read that first text. They want to be the ones to run the show, and since they waited too long, now they have to respond to a girl? It reads “bossy” to them and they don’t want to have to potentially re-live their childhoods where they were bossed around by their mothers. It’s as dumb as it sounds, but it happens.

Women should be allowed to tell a guy we like him.

Why is it still a faux pas for the woman to make the first move? There are many times where you’ll meet a guy you really like and he’d also be interested in you but nothing happens because he’s afraid of the rejection. Someone has to break the ice, so why can’t it be you?

He’s ridiculously shy.

Read any dating site and the rule always seems to be that men should chase and women should be pursued. The thing is, what if the guy you’re dealing with is so shy you have to twist his arm just to get a word out? Some guys require some extra prodding and that’s why you sent the text. What’s this dude’s deal?

He doesn’t know how to deal with a strong woman.

If he’s intimidated by a text, imagine what else he would have been intimidated by down the road. By sending that first text, you’re showing that you’re assertive. Some guys dont want to have to deal with that because to them, assertive means difficult. It’s okay, though — maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t respond. It gives you a chance to move on to someone who can handle your heat.

He’s not looking for anything more than casual.

His lack of response lets you gauge how interested he is in you, and it looks like the answer is “not much.” Don’t worry — this is just one more guy that you can cross off your list. He didn’t reject you, he just freed you from spending you valuable time dating a loser. You should really be thanking him for that.

He’s a player.

Think about this — maybe the reason why he didn’t respond to your text is that he had no intention of responding in the first place. Some guys (players in particular) like to collect phone numbers, kinda like how you collect purses, and then never use them. Make sense? Consider that you just escaped getting played by a pick-up artist. Feel better?

He’s got control issues.

Some guys need to have all of the control in a relationship. They only want to see you when they feel like it, go out to the places they feel most comfortable, and respond to texts whenever they want, which could be potentially never. You dodged a bullet because this guy isn’t looking for a partnership. He just wants someone to live in HIS world. Be grateful you dodged a narcissist.

He’s playing games with you.

Hey, maybe he’s letting your text linger. I mean, I’ve had guys text me back weeks later as if nothing happened. He could be doing it on purpose and waiting to see if you’ll text again just to see how desperate you are for him. Don’t do it — stay strong, and then when he finally texts you, he can wait. Forever. Ha!

He would have ghosted you eventually.

If he’s ghosting you now, he would have ghosted you later. You’ve barely even met and already he’s giving you the cold shoulder. Take it as a blessing in disguise and move on to a guy who actually wants to talk to you.

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