Haven’t Found Love Yet? Maybe It’s Because You’re So Amazing

You don’t usually blame being single AF on the fact that you’re such an awesome person — you blame modern dating culture, dating apps, not meeting the love of your life back in college, not meeting guys IRL, and the fact that your ex-boyfriend broke your heart. The truth is that maybe you should blame yourself. After all, the reason you haven’t found love yet is because you’re so amazing:

  1. You have super high standards, as you should. You’ve definitely been told that you’re too picky, you don’t give people a chance, or you don’t believe in the benefit of the doubt. All of that is BS — you’re honestly just picky enough. If you’re still waiting to meet someone that you connect with, that’s because you have high standards and you’re sticking to them. It might suck now, but when you do meet the right guy, you’ll be glad that you didn’t settle for one with no job or zero sense of humor.
  2. Dating isn’t your entire world. You definitely want to meet someone but you want to enjoy the rest of your life just as much. If you let go of the search for love for a little bit while you go on vacation or focus on the hustle, you’re fine with that. This is exactly why you’re girlfriend material, whether you realize it or not. It’s just a matter of time before someone else realizes it too.
  3. You won’t let anyone kill your vibe. When you date someone who’s all wrong for you, it totally takes over your entire life. You’re bummed out, you can’t stop overthinking things, and you have this overwhelming feeling that something is seriously off. When you’re crushing your entire life instead of putting yourself in a crappy dating situation, that doesn’t happen to you. You take your happiness seriously and put yourself first.
  4. You observe your friends’ bad relationships and do the opposite of what they do. It might sound harsh but the truth is that you have some friends who are miserable in their relationships. You’ll do anything within your power to make sure that you don’t end up that way, and that means letting go of losers and leaving weird situations when you know there’s no point of seeing someone again.
  5. Second dates are a rare occurrence in your life. This may sound like the saddest story ever and sometimes, it totally is. You curse your crappy dating luck and wish that you had a boyfriend already, but it’s actually a good thing that you don’t usually go on second dates. Why? Because you’re careful. You have to feel something and you have to make sure that you’re comfortable with this person. Be proud of that.
  6. You’d rather be alone forever than force yourself to date someone. This is pretty much your life motto. When your friends are confused about why you go on dates all the time but you never end up in a relationship, it can be a bit embarrassing. It shouldn’t be. You should hold your head up high. You’re absolutely right to choose a happy solo existence over being a miserable girlfriend.
  7. You know that the single life isn’t a death sentence. It sounds weird but it’s super true: sometimes you’re single because you’re good at being single. There are a lot of relationship girls out there who literally need to be a girlfriend. They can’t be alone for any period of time and they force themselves into relationships that are the worst fits possible. That’s not you.
  8. You’re intimidating AF. Yup, it needs to be said. You intimate the hell out of some guys — that’s just a reality of your dating life. Instead of wishing that you didn’t sound like such a dork talking about how much you love your job, start embracing the ambitious, amazing person that you are. The right guy will love you and your work ethic too.
  9. Going with the flow is your thing. Why would you live your life according to some outdated timeline? You don’t think that you have to get engaged at 25 and be married by 30 or something bad is going to happen. You don’t put a timeframe on finding love, even though this is a goal you have. This makes you the coolest girl ever and it also means that it might take you a bit longer to meet the right person since you’re not putting any pressure on yourself.
  10. You focused on your career for a while. It’s not good or bad to have more experience than someone else, it’s just the way that it goes. Maybe you were focused on grad school or building your career for a few years and let this whole dating thing sit on the back burner. That’s exactly what you should have done! Now you have a job and life that you love and you’re in the best position possible to meet the right guy.
  11. You don’t take anyone’s crap. When a guy doesn’t text you back, you delete his number. When he says he doesn’t want a relationship, you believe him. When you’re not feeling it, you move on. You don’t let anyone treat you badly and that just means that you’ve stayed single longer since you’re getting out of bad situations rather than dragging them out.
  12. You’re holding out hope for something real. You don’t expect perfection. You get that everyone is human and that when you meet someone that you want to seriously date, he won’t be the Prince Charming you’ve been dreaming of. That’s okay with you. You’re single because you’re holding out hope that you’re going to fall in love and it’s going to be for real. That’s a good thing. It also makes you the most amazing person ever, and that’s the honest truth.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.