Few things feel worse than being cheated on by the person you love. Trust me, I’ve been there too. The only thing that might be worse is the same person being unfaithful again after you forgave him the first time. While it’s impossible to guarantee that this won’t happen, there are certain traits some men have that make them more likely to become serial cheaters. Before somebody says “I told you so,” here are some signs that a guy will likely go for an encore in the future.
- He can’t explain why he cheated. One of the best ways to prevent future infidelity is to understand why someone cheated the first time. Odds are, there is a reason why he cheated on you aside from simply being attracted to someone else. There’s usually an underlying cause and you have to find it. If you can’t get to the bottom of it or he refuses to explain why he was moved to cheat, the door is open for him to do it again.
- Maturity level. Younger guys sometimes cheat more because they haven’t matured enough to understand the consequences of it in a serious relationship. To be clear, there is a difference between age and maturity. Not every guy in his 30s or 40s is necessarily mature. If you sense signs of immaturity in your boyfriend, he may not be able to stop himself from cheating even if he got caught once before.
- He doesn’t try to make it up to you. I think we can all agree that “sorry” isn’t always enough when it comes to cheating. I’m not saying you have to punish the guy if you decide to give him another chance, but he should show remorse and try to atone for his mistake. If he just wants to say “sorry” and move on, there’s a good possibility that he’ll do it again. This is akin to not being able to explain why he cheated. He doesn’t want to deal with the issue at hand, he just wants to get past it. However, if he tries to make up for his indiscretion beyond just an apology, it means he understands his mistake and will do his best to keep it from happening again.
- He lives an entitled life. Okay, I don’t mean to paint with a broad brush here, but folks who grew up entitled tend to think they can get away with anything. I’m not saying it’s their fault, that’s just the way it is. If your boyfriend had a similar upbringing, he might think he can get away with cheating on you. Worse, getting caught isn’t always a hindrance to doing it again. Look out for guys who tend to think that rules don’t always apply to them. They might think that relationship rules don’t apply to them either.
- He plays the blame game. It’s never a good sign when a guy tries to blame others for his cheating. Needless to say, it’s even worse when he tries to blame you for it. Short of you cheating on him first, there’s no legitimate reason he should blame you for his infidelity. If he can’t admit his mistake, then in his mind, he did nothing wrong. If he believes he did nothing wrong, he’ll probably do it again.
- He’s still in contact with the other person. If he has an affair, I don’t think it’s asking too much for him to break off all contact with the other person. If it’s a long-time friend or co-worker, things can get a little complicated, but if he still talks and sees the person who helped him cheat, the window for it to happen again will remain open.
- He doesn’t like being alone. Men who don’t like being alone are always prone to cheating, even if they’ve been caught before. These types of guys tend to have a wandering eye. They also like to keep their options open even when they’re in a happy relationship. Whenever they feel lonely or are physically or emotionally distant from their girlfriends, they’re susceptible to cheating. If your boyfriend is like this, there’s always a chance that he’ll do it again and again.
- His friends are a bad influence. Fair or not, we are the company we keep. If your boyfriend hangs around with sketchy friends, it could be harder for him to avoid cheating on you again. If most of his friends are in stable relationships, you can feel a little better. But if his friends are single or a little misogynistic, they could be a bad influence on him. They could convince him that cheating the first time was no big deal. His head will get twisted into thinking that he can do it again.
