How Narcissists Get Away With Everything (Until They Don’t)

While narcissists may appear to get away with everything they do, this is simply not true. In the short term, their entitlement and lack of empathy may go unnoticed by others, these things may even help them succeed. But eventually, all narcissists face the consequences of their actions, whether it’s strained relationships, keeping jobs, or even legal problems. Here are 15 ways the narcissist avoids taking responsibility for their actions but ultimately faces the consequences.

1.  The narcissist manipulates everyone. 

Part of the reason narcissists appear so successful is because they don’t just manipulate you; they manipulate everyone. After they’ve treated you badly, they’ll try to convince others that they were the victim. While this strategy may work in the short term, it typically fails in the long term. Time reveals everything and while you move on and live your life, narcissists find themselves trapped in the same self-sabotaging cycle. 

2. Idealize, devalue, and discard is the narcissistic cycle. 

Have you ever seen the movie Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray finds himself stuck in a time loop, repeating the same day over and over? This pattern is the life of a narcissist as they repeat the same toxic relationship cycle. As a two-sided coin, idealization and devaluation are projections of their self-hatred, which fuels much of the narcissist’s toxic behavior. Once the fairy tale ends, they will blame you for their bad behavior and discard you so they don’t have to take any responsibility. While it may seem like they win, it’s a very sad way to exist in the world. 

3. The narcissist lacks feelings.  

The narcissist doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. While the victim of narcissistic abuse may spend years trying to understand what happened, the narcissist simply moves on to its next target. This behavior may give them the appearance of winning, but it is a facade. Hiding behind that facade is an individual unable to truly connect with and care for others, which is a very lonely life.

4. Narcissists are highly motivated. 

Studies have shown that narcissists may be more successful than their more humble and empathetic peers. Their inflated sense of self-worth and lack of empathy work together to make them mentally tough, so they often succeed in high-powered jobs and fast-paced careers. On the surface, it looks like narcissists are being rewarded for their grandiosity and entitlement. However, their overconfidence can cause them to make bad decisions. When faced with the consequences of their decision, they’ll insist they’re right and try to shift the blame to someone else. This behavior is toxic, particularly in a work environment, and it often leads to their downfall. 

5. The narcissist doesn’t let feelings get in their way. 

At the core of every narcissist is shame. This deep-seated shame prevents them from introspection, which is necessary for growth and maturity. As a result, narcissists view introspection as a waste of time and never mature and grow. Unable to accept that they have flaws like everyone else, narcissists charge through life like a bull, knocking over anyone who stands in their path. While this lack of introspection may lead to occasional victories, it also prevents them from forming deep emotional connections. 

6. Narcissists are charming. 

Beware the charm of the narcissist because it is deceiving. At first, they’ll love-bomb you with flattery and seem to hang on to your every word. It’s no wonder so many intelligent and sensitive people fall under the spell. However, the problem is that narcissists inevitably withdraw their affection and become angry about trivial things. Suddenly, you may find them criticizing you for things they once complimented you on. Though narcissists often succeed socially, they usually discard or drive away those they could’ve had meaningful relationships with. Ultimately, they find themselves alone.

7. Nothing means more to narcissists than maintaining appearances. 

Image and reputation are two things the narcissist is passionate about. While most people understand that everyone has flaws, the narcissist views flaws as a sign of weakness. As a result, they will go to extreme lengths to hide their imperfections and protect their reputation. They react viciously to any perceived slight, believing that it could bring down their carefully cultivated image. Since they spend so much time protecting their reputation, some may see them in a positive light. However, you can’t fool all of the people all of the time, and when people see their true nature, the narcissist will face the consequences, whether it’s losing a job or a relationship.

8. Shifting blame is one of their superpowers. 

The fragile ego of a narcissist prevents them from acknowledging their flaws, so they shift the blame onto others to avoid introspection. Blame shifting includes everything from attacking the victim to blatantly lying to deflecting any responsibility for their actions. While this tactic may protect the narcissist’s fragile ego for a while, their lack of introspection means they are stuck in an endless cycle. Imagine making the same mistakes over and over and never learning anything from them. This endless cycle is the narcissist’s fate.

9. Narcissists are talented actors. 

Since narcissists must build a strong wall around their feelings to shift blame elsewhere, they often give Oscar-worthy performances. While they lack emotional depth, they enjoy performing for other people, which is why they may appear to be a great friend, partner, or co-worker at the beginning of a relationship. Like famous actors, they learn the script and fake emotions to garner admiration and attention. While this may lead to them landing jobs they don’t deserve or receiving recognition, ultimately, they drop their masks and drive everyone away. 

10. Most people never get close enough to see beyond the narcissist’s facade.

In the movie The Wizard of Oz, the Great and Powerful Oz is a wizard who hides behind a curtain and controls the citizens of Oz with his scary and fiery image. However, when Dorothy’s little dog, Toto, pulls back the curtain, it’s revealed that he is simply a little non-intimidating man behind a curtain. Like the Great and Powerful Oz, the narcissist hides behind a curtain, using fear and control to manipulate others. Many people never see what is behind the curtain, so narcissists may get away with their bad behavior for a long time. However, they can’t keep up the facade forever. 

11. They use the victim mentality to garner sympathy.

Playing the victim is another form of shifting blame. It helps the narcissist keep control of the narrative and get their supply of attention and sympathy. Also, because the narcissist cannot confront their bad behavior, they often project their abusive behavior onto others. Shifting blame with phrases like “It’s your fault” and “You started it” may fool outsiders into believing the narcissist, but those who know them know the truth. The best tactic is not to take the bait and walk away. 

12. The narcissist believes they are never wrong. 

Once a narcissist has made up their mind, there is no changing it. In fact, a narcissist will go to extreme lengths to prove they’re right because being wrong is unimaginable to them. To some, this may appear as confidence, which leads to short-term success in work and relationships. However, it is exhausting to be around someone who believes they are always right. Eventually, this behavior becomes obnoxious and intolerable, meaning people will start to avoid being around the know-it-all narcissist.

13. Without attention, the narcissist may have an emotional collapse.

When narcissists don’t get the attention and validation they believe they deserve, they often suffer an emotional collapse. For instance, when their behaviors lead to them being skipped over for a promotion or their partner finally leaving them, narcissists begin to indulge in self-destructive behaviors. Signs of this include anxiety, gambling, intense angry outbursts, and self-harm. Sadly, because narcissists are unable to reflect on their actions, they don’t understand why they behave this way. Instead of seeking help, they hurt themselves and others, which leads to more failure in the long run. 

14. Narcissists often have a toxic relationship with money.

One of the tools narcissists use to control others is money, often using it as a form of punishment. Initially, if you do what they want, they may generously reward you with gifts. However, if you challenge or upset them, the narcissist will switch tactics and use money as a weapon against you. For instance, they may make you feel guilty about the money they’ve spent on you. Or perhaps the narcissist will refuse to stick to a budget or share responsibility for the bills. While this behavior may go unnoticed by others at first, the narcissist’s relationship with money often leads to their downfall, either by driving people away from them or causing serious financial problems. 

15. Ultimately, the lives of narcissists lack real meaning. 

Narcissists miss out on the things that make life great, such as forming real human connections, falling in love, and making mistakes. A well-rounded person experiences joy and sadness throughout their life, but narcissists are only concerned about themselves in the most shallow terms. While narcissists may experience short-term success in their careers and relationships, ultimately, they miss out on life’s most important experiences. It’s in this way that the narcissist truly never gets away with anything. 

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