In a perfect world, the guys we want would just automatically know how we feel about them and a relationship would begin spontaneously. Unfortunately, things don’t work like that. Sometimes you’ll have to come right out and ask him to be your boyfriend rather than waiting for him to take the hint and do the asking for you. With a little courage and the right attitude, you can accomplish this girlfriend without feeling desperate or stressed.
Let go of the stereotypes.
If you’re going to ask a guy out, the first thing you need to do is get rid of the idea that it’s a guy’s job to make the first move or do the asking. If you’re ready to take things to the next level, then do something about it. Asking a guy out doesn’t make you desperate or pathetic. It doesn’t make him less of a man or you less of a lady. It just means you’re the kind of woman who isn’t afraid to go after what she wants.
Know what you really want.
Don’t go into a relationship because you feel pressured to do so. Before you tell him to be your romantic partner, you need to know what you want out of that partnership. Do you really want to commit to him or you just need the label? How do you really feel about him? Are you just attracted to him or you love him? Do you want to date him because you’ve fallen for him or just to prove that you can have him?
Look for signs that he’s interested in you.
Asking out a guy whose actions have made it clear that he doesn’t want you, is a terrible idea. You should be at least fairly confident that he might say yes to your relationship proposal. Think about the relationship you have now and be honest about whether you stand a chance. If you just met him, you might want to go on a couple of dates and get to know each other better before broaching the girlfriend topic.
Find the right time.
Asking a guy out in the middle of sex or right after is a huge no-no. He clearly won’t be thinking clearly and might just say yes to avoid ruining the mood, to spare your ego, or because he thinks you’re joking. You also don’t want to ask a guy out on important days like Valentine’s day or your birthday. Timing matters so pick a no-pressure, low-stakes moment to ask him to be your boyfriend.
Pick the right place.
You want to pick a place that’s quiet enough for two of you to sit and just talk. It can be a place that holds special meaning for both of you or just a comfortable spot like your local coffee shop or a nice restaurant. You want a place with as little distractions as possible. Don’t tell him you want to be his girlfriend in front of your friends or other people. That’s a recipe for pressure and awkwardness.
Avoid doing it over the phone.
Sure calling or sending him a text is the easy way out, but you shouldn’t take it. You want him to look him in the face when you tell him how you feel. You want him to see how serious, brave, nervous, and excited you are. asking him to be your boyfriend in person will also allow you to see his reaction and read his body language to see what he’s not saying.
Open up to him about your feelings.
Tell him that you think he’s amazing and you want a relationship with him. This is not the time to repress your emotions, play coy, or hard to get. Be honest about your feelings and expectations. Talk about what he means to you. Then ask him if he wants to be your boyfriend. It’s best to be direct rather than dancing around the question.
Let him have time to think about it.
It’s okay if he’s not ready to take your hand and ride into the sunset with you right away. Keep in mind that he might not have considered a relationship with you up till than moment and might need time to gather his thoughts before making a decision. If he can’t give you an answer right away, give him a few days or weeks to make up his mind. But don’t let him use this as an excuse to lead you on forever.
Be prepared for rejection.
You’re not entitled to a yes just because you put yourself out there. There’s a chance that won’t want you to be his girlfriend and you need to prepare yourself for that. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. You can ask him why he isn’t interested in a relationship with you, but don’t let his answer make you feel bad about yourself. Accept the rejection gracefully and take solace in the fact that’s its better to try than to spend the rest of your life wondering what if.
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