How To Come Off As Someone Who’s Extremely Emotionally Intelligent

How To Come Off As Someone Who’s Extremely Emotionally Intelligent

Book smarts are great and all, but it’s EQ that will allow you to understand, empathize, and connect with the people around you and form deeper, more meaningful relationships in life. Being able to make people feel heard and offering them support and encouragement will get you everywhere in life, so if you struggle in this department, here are some tips for upping your emotional intelligence.

1. Zip those lips and listen.

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According to Simply Psychology, active listening isn’t just about hearing the words coming out of someone’s mouth, it’s about understanding the feelings and intentions behind them. Show that you’re engaged in the conversation by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and offering meaningful and relevant responses to what the other person is saying. This shows you value their thoughts and feelings, which is a key trait of emotional intelligence.

2. Show empathy.

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This is a simple but majorly effective one. According to Verywell Mind, empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Show genuine understanding and concern for people’s feelings. This not only validates their emotions but also builds trust and respect while highlighting your emotional intelligence. Your empathetic nature can make people feel safe and comfortable around you, which is always a good thing.

3. Learn how to manage your emotions.

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Emotionally intelligent people can identify and understand their feelings and know how to manage them. Practice self-awareness and control, especially in stressful situations. Staying cool as a cucumber under pressure demonstrates emotional strength and intelligence. It can also help maintain a calm and effective environment even during tough times.

4. Give feedback that’s actually constructive.

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Giving feedback is a delicate art. Be honest and constructive, but also considerate of the other person’s feelings — you don’t need to be unnecessarily harsh or cruel. Balancing honesty with empathy in your feedback shows high emotional intelligence. Your approach to feedback can help people grow and improve without feeling discouraged or attacked.

5. Be open to criticism yourself.

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Accepting criticism graciously shows that you value growth over ego — you shouldn’t dish it out if you can’t take it, after all. Consider feedback an opportunity to learn and improve. Doing so shows that you have maturity and high emotional intelligence. It also earns you tons of respect and admiration from people around you, which is a doubly good thing.

6. Show appreciation for people’s efforts.

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A simple “thank you” can go a long way. Acknowledging people’s efforts and contributions shows you’re appreciative, considerate, and don’t take anything or anyone for granted. This positive reinforcement makes you appear emotionally intelligent and encouraging. It also boosts morale and makes people feel good.

7. Keep your relationships positive.

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Emotionally intelligent people nurture and maintain healthy relationships. Show kindness, respect, and support in your interactions with everyone you meet. Healthy and positive relationships reflect your emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills. Your positive relationships can be a testament to your ability to understand and cater to people’s needs, which is what EQ is all about.

8. Be authentically you.

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Authenticity is a key aspect of emotional intelligence, so be true to your feelings, values, and beliefs. Your authenticity shows self-awareness and genuineness, both of which are key traits of emotional intelligence. Your authenticity can make other people feel comfortable and encourage them to be genuine as well.

9. Practice patience, as hard as it is.

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Patience shows that you can remain calm and composed even in really stressful situations. It also shows that you recognize that not everything can be rushed, which shows intelligence and emotional resilience. When other people realize how laid-back you are, it sets the tone for a more relaxed, stress-free environment.

10. Cultivate your self-awareness.

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Understanding your own emotions is the first step to understanding other people’s. Do a bit of self-reflection to recognize your emotions and their impact — your self-awareness is a clear sign of emotional intelligence. It not only benefits you but also those around you, as it allows for better understanding and empathy.

11. Be a bit more flexible.

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Being adaptable in the face of change demonstrates some serious EQ. Show that you’re capable of tweaking your thoughts and behaviors as needed in order to improve your life and the lives of those around you. It can make you a valuable team player in dynamic environments.

12. Promote teamwork.

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Emotionally intelligent people understand the value of cooperation and collaboration. Emphasize the importance of working together sometimes rather than competing against each other. Promoting teamwork can showcase your understanding of group dynamics and your ability to work well with other people rather than being all about yourself. There’s no “I” in team, as they say.

13. Show respect for everyone.

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Showing respect for everyone, regardless of their status or differences, is a sign of emotional intelligence. Doing this shows your understanding of equality and your ability to appreciate diversity. It also creates an inclusive and welcoming environment, showing that you don’t think you’re above or better than anyone else. We’re all on the same level.

14. Use humor wisely.

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Humor can be a great tool for connecting with other people, but it’s important to use it wisely. Your ability to gauge when humor is appropriate, as well as what kind is warranted, can show your emotional intelligence and sensitivity to other people’s feelings. It can make you a fun and considerate person to be around.

15. Acknowledge other people’s strengths and achievements.

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Recognizing and acknowledging the strengths in other people packs a big EQ punch. Your ability to see and appreciate the was in which other people are awesome shows your ability to see beyond your own perspective. Plus, it boosts people’s self-esteem and fosters positive relationships.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.