The hair, the makeup, the control-top underwear, the push-up bras, the fake giggles, the small dinner orders despite being starving… Women put ourselves through a lot to get a guy to like us. The thing is that it’s entirely unnecessary. Here’s how to get a good guy (AKA the only guy worth getting) absolutely smitten with you without all that trouble.
- Put on your favorite makeup. Makeup is fun until it feels like an obligation. Good news, ladies: there is no obligation. Don’t put on the makeup you think he will like. One in 12 men is colorblind anyway. Go extra, but do your favorite extra look, the one you can do flawlessly with your eyes closed. That will make you shine the most, and that is what he will notice.
- Put on your favorite dress. Don’t pick out the tiniest, tightest dress that makes you uncomfortable just for his attention. Go through your closet and grab the outfit that makes you feel like you’re the CEO of kicking ass. You know exactly how hot you look, and more importantly, you know how exactly how to move in this outfit to avoid wedgies and potential nip-slips. Whether it’s that tight little skirt or your flowing maxi dress, your confidence will be contagious.
- Be open-minded. If he suggests a date somewhere you’ve never been, or maybe it’s doing something you’ve never tried because it didn’t seem interesting, be honest but go for it anyway. Tell him you’ve never been interested but maybe it’ll be fun with him. Even if you don’t like it, he’ll be intrigued by your willingness to try new things. And who knows, maybe it’ll just be your new favorite activity.
- Don’t be a pushover. If the date is somewhere you absolutely know you don’t like, don’t go do it just because you want to seem easygoing. It’s important that you feel safe; no man is worth a panic attack, nor is he worth the stress of making up an on-the-spot excuse for why you don’t want to go rock climbing. It’s easier to just be blunt. Setting your boundaries is important, and if he’s worth it, he’ll respect you for it. Respect is the unsung hero of snagging a guy.
- Eat what you want. If you like salads, by all means, order a salad. Just don’t shy away from a hearty meal just to seem dainty. Securing another date with this man will need you at your sharpest and most aware, and you can’t do that on an empty stomach. Also, assuming that this guy is the best of the best (only the best for you, queen), he’ll like you more when you’re properly fed.
- Drink what you want. A good reason to order a beer: you like beer. A bad reason to order a beer: you want to seem “chill” and “cool” and “one of the guys.” A good reason to order a fancy, girly cocktail: you like it. A bad reason to order a fancy, girly cocktail: you want to seem feminine. You know what drinks help calm your nerves and which drinks make you cry in a bathroom. Stick to what you like, and you’ll be your most attractive self.
- Don’t shy away from heavier topics. It is an unfortunate truth in our society that men are discouraged from sharing their feelings. This doesn’t mean they don’t have them. If you sense an opportunity for him to open up, seize it. It’s a win-win: he feels safe expressing himself to someone, and you get to learn more about him and probably secure another date at the same time.
- Don’t hook up until you’re ready. Want to hook up on the first date? Cool. Want to wait till the second? Third? Fourth? Tenth? Whenever you’re ready is perfect. If you push yourself to sex this guy down before you feel ready, then you are not going to be on your best bedroom game. Remember, you aren’t going to blow his mind if you’re just going home with him so that you don’t seem like a prude.
- Be complimentary about your intentions. You can tell him that you want a relationship without scaring him away. frame it as a compliment; tell him that he’s so much fun to be around that you want to spend more time together. Flattery will get you farther than gushing about the connection you feel and how you could see yourselves forever and all that. We live to be longer than 35 these days, so you don’t have to be a walking Valentine’s Day card about your feelings.
- Live your truth. “Be yourself” is the stupidest sounding after school special advice, and it’s annoyingly on point. Even toddlers can tell when someone is full of crap and lose trust when they sense it. We never lose that ability, so if you have a weird sense of humor or a loud laugh, don’t hide it. He’ll be attracted to the fact that you are being you, even if you aren’t his usual “type.” Your genuine self is the easiest and sexiest person to be.
