How To Get Your Ex Back When He’s Moved On

Your ex is moving on with his life and your relationship is officially over but you really want him back. How can you get him to want to date you again? Here are 1o things to do (and consider) before you make a big move. It won’t be easy, but if it’s meant to be, it will be worth it.

  1. Back off for a few weeks. If you can see that he’s been dating new women after your breakup, you might get the urge to make contact with him. Don’t. Now’s the time to stop, reflect, and chill. You don’t want to do anything sudden or dramatic because you might regret it. You should also quit checking up on him on social media as that could cause you to want to rush into something that might not be the best decision.
  2. Date your feelings. While you’d rather be going on a date with him, it’s time to take time to spend with your feelings. What if you’re not really keen on having another go at a relationship with him but you’re just jealous that he’s dating other people? What if your ego’s calling the shots instead of your heart? What if you don’t even miss him? Figure this stuff out or you might end up kicking yourself down the line for making a move now.
  3. Reach out a little. Once a few weeks are up and you’ve taken time to dig into your feelings to understand what you really want and you know for sure you want to be with him, you can go ahead and test the waters by reaching out to your ex. But do so in a casual and cool manner. Just say hi and see where the conversation takes you.
  4. Try to reboot your connection. You guys might’ve had an amazing connection back when you were dating, but now things have changed. That doesn’t mean you can’t find your mojo again. If he responds to your initial text or WhatsApp message and you guys are getting back into regular chatting, you can try to rekindle your connection by sharing inside jokes and having fun.
  5. Yes, have fun! This point needs to be stressed a bit more: you should be enjoying your time together! When a guy has a great time with you, during which he can laugh and feel positive, it’ll make you more memorable and he’ll be impatient to get back to you. You’ll be the first person he thinks about.
  6. Remind him of the good memories. Of course you’ll want to have some deep conversations with him. You can’t just laugh together the whole time. When doing so, try to hint about the awesome memories you share, such as cool things you did when you were together. This will have the effect of reminding him that you guys were a great thing.
  7. Don’t be clingy. Never try too hard to get him back. For starters, he’s got to make some effort here, otherwise, your connection isn’t mutual or real! Plus, you don’t want to seem like you’re desperate. No guy is worth sacrificing your dignity.
  8. Flirt a little. While you don’t want to come on too strong, you should definitely flirt a little. Do it in a light, humorous way so that if he doesn’t feel the same there will be no awkwardness. You don’t even have to say anything. Simply brush his arm, look deeply into his eyes, and so on.
  9. Let him come to you. Once you’ve done the above, make sure you back off a bit. Let him initiate conversations and maybe even ask to see you. It will show you that he’s keen on making your bond stronger. Again, you have to wait and see what he does otherwise your feelings aren’t being reciprocated.
  10. Don’t accept leftovers. Now, maybe he hasn’t really been talking about his dating life since you guys broke up. But don’t put your blinkers on! Find out if he’s serious with someone and if you suspect that he is, don’t accept leftovers from him. Don’t settle for only having some parts of him while he gives most of his life to someone else. You’re better than that. Besides, if he tries to have you on the side, that says a lot about the type of guy he is.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.