You really like the guy you’re seeing but you’re sure he’s still talking to other women on the side. You’re ready to lock things down and make it exclusive if not official, but how do you go about it? You don’t need to play games or resort to underhanded methods to get him to be exclusive — just try these things to help him realize you’re girlfriend material.
- Hold Off On Sex. If you want to be exclusive and he hasn’t given you that title yet, keep your cookie in the cookie jar, so to speak. I’m not suggesting sex should be a reward for exclusivity. I am, however, suggesting that you treasure your vagina and keep her safe until you feel confident in your relationship.
- Make Him Wait. It’s not your job to be at his beck and call. It’s your job to live your own life and do what you want. He needs to know your time is valuable and that you’re in high demand. If he thinks you’re sitting around waiting for his texts, he won’t rush to put a label on the relationship. Keep yourself busy and don’t cancel your plans whenever he’s free.
- Challenge Him. He might not admit it, but he wants someone who challenges him. We all do. If all you do is agree with everything he says, he’s going to get bored. Hell, you’re going to get bored. Don’t just listen to him, ask questions, and give him advice. Support him like you would anyone else you care about. It’s important he knows you’re on his side.
- Befriend His Friends. Our friends have a huge say in whether we date someone or not. If you can’t get along with any of his friends, there’s a very slim chance he’ll want to be exclusive with you. So, do your best to get off on the right foot. Unless, of course, his friends are horrible. If that’s the case, ditch him and his crew.
- Don’t Be His Girlfriend (Yet). You’re not his girlfriend, so don’t take on that role yet. Don’t spend every Friday night with him or hang out with his parents. If you give him all the benefits of having a significant other, why would he ever want to be exclusive? Remember, there’s no reason for someone to buy the cow if they’re getting the milk for free. Be nice and flirtatious, but don’t give him the girlfriend treatment until he deserves it.
- Be Honest. Don’t hide things because you’re afraid of how your partner will respond. And don’t lie to get their attention or trick them into being with you. You don’t want an exclusive relationship that’s based on deception. That’s why it’s so important you show him exactly who you are and let your walls down. If you want a relationship, say so. Don’t be aloof. If you’re not clear, he won’t be clear.
- Be Driven. Having your own life is very attractive to men. Sure, a lot of dudes want to be providers, but they don’t want to feel like they have to take care of another person. Get it? Not only should you have your own source of income, but you should have goals and be able to hold your own. No one can resist someone living their best life!
- Pump The Brakes. You like him (a lot), and you want to spend as much time with him as possible. I get it, but all that attention can feel suffocating. Instead of being all over him all the time, pump the brakes and take some time apart. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Letting him breathe will most likely make him want you more
- Don’t Force It. Guys don’t want to be forced into anything. They want the freedom to make their own decisions. Don’t ask to be exclusive every day; give him time to come to that conclusion on his own. Not everyone can move as quickly as you, and that’s okay. If you rush the process, you might scare him away. Or worse, he’ll say “no” just because he’s not ready to say “yes.”
- Don’t Waste Your Time. Be patient, but don’t stay with someone who’s never going to give you what you want. The sad reality is, he might never want to be exclusive. If that’s the case, it’s important you have the strength to walk away. Don’t waste your time. Find someone who’s willing to give you what you want.
