How To Make Him Want You Desperately, According To A Guy

If you want to pull away to make a guy want you, it’s typically not as complicated as you might think. As a guy, I would recommend keeping things simple and not overthinking too much. After all, chances are you have plenty to bring to the table when it comes to relationships so he’d be lucky to have you. That’s why you don’t need to go overboard when turning on the charm. Here are some suggestions for getting him on your side.

  1. Have your own life. It’s nuts to think that the easiest way to make a guy want you is by pulling away and simply living your own life, but it’s true. This doesn’t even require any effort or change on your behalf — you just keep doing the same things you’re doing now. Keep killing it in your career, hanging out with your friends, and pursuing your passions, and he won’t be able to resist you.
  2. Chill out a bit. Quite simply, if you act like you don’t give a damn, guys will want you. Some guys like being chased because they want attention, but that doesn’t make them want you. Acting carefree makes it seem like you don’t need a guy to be happy and content (and this shouldn’t actually be an act). That will make a guy want to chase after you because he’ll like the challenge. Some guys will also envy your laidback attitude, which helps make you an interesting person to be around.
  3. Be fun to be around. You don’t like to hang out with people who are miserable all the time, so why would he? If you want him to like you, you need to make him want to be around you. Be up for adventure and try not to be too rigid but instead, embrace spontaneity. You don’t have to be the life of the party if that’s not your personality, but simply being up for anything and keeping a positive outlook can go a long way in making you a total catch.
  4. Flirt and tease him a bit. Who doesn’t love a little flirting now and then? This guy is way more likely to go nuts for you if he knows that you’re feeling him too. You can show how into him you are by teasing him, playing around, and flirting with him. Keeping things light and happy and throwing in some little innuendos or flirty comments here and there will increase the sexual tension between you and make him desperate to be with you.
  5. Be unapologetically yourself. You shouldn’t live unapologetically just to make a guy want you — you should do this in general. Wear what you want, do what you want (as long as you’re not hurting anyone else), and live your life just the way you want to no matter what anyone has to say. This will not only ensure that you’re happier in life in general but also serve to make you incredibly attractive to other people.
  6. Let him see how independent and self-sufficient you are. Again, this doesn’t really require you to do anything special. You have a job, you pay your own bills, you buy yourself anything you want, and you’re doing it all without even being in a relationship. You’re the definition of a strong, independent woman, and he won’t be able to help but take notice of that.
  7. Show off your intelligence. A lot of you ladies are into smart guys, right? Well, it goes both ways. A lot of guys have their curiosity piqued by smart women. This is particularly true for guys who are a little on the ignorant side. For some reason, they crave being around women who are smarter than them. If you come across as intelligent and well-read, guys are more likely to want you and think that there could be a future.
  8. Laugh a lot. Guys love hearing a woman laugh. This is especially true if we think that we’re the reason why you’re laughing. Well, as long as you’re laughing with us and not at us. Being able to make a woman laugh feeds our ego in a big way, which makes us want to be around you so you can keep feeding our ego with your laughter. Therefore, if you make a guy think he’s funny, he’ll start to want you.
  9. Say his name. Speaking of ego, nothing makes a guy feel more special than hearing you say his name. I also think this is a trick shady guys use to lure women. Of course, nothing says you can’t use the same tactic to make a guy want you. Obviously, you don’t want to say a guy’s name constantly; that would be weird. But you should sprinkle it into the conversation regularly. It’ll make him know that you’re thinking about him and think that he’s special. In turn, he’ll start to want you because he’ll subconsciously be thinking that you want him.

More ways to pull away to make him want you

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  1. Surprise him. Few things will make a guy want you more than the ability to keep him on his toes. Of course, sexy surprises are always welcome, but little gifts and last-second plans can work too. If you can remain a little unpredictable, a guy will never lose interest and keep wanting you.
  2. Change up your appearance. Speaking of surprises, a change in hair color or wardrobe can be great ways to grab a guy’s attention. This is particularly true for older relationships where things might be starting to get a little stale. The trick is to do something that will be obvious as soon as a guy looks at you. He may not notice your new haircut, but a change in hair color won’t go undetected. It’ll make you seem spontaneous, which is always key in making a guy want you.
  3. Withhold details. This is another good idea for couples. Granted, it’s a little bit of a game, but it’s a clever one. When you talk about your day, leave out important details by just giving him the bare minimum. Tell him enough to get his attention and then wait for him to press you for more. It’s a nice way to make him engaged and interested in you.
  4. Remind him why you’re a catch. If your relationship is cruising along, make your boyfriend want you again by reminding him why he wanted you in the first place. Surely, you know why your boyfriend was attracted to your initially, right? Well, find ways to remind him of that. It could be the outfit you wore on your first date or even a recreation of your first date. Sometimes, that’s all it takes for a guy to want you the way he used to.
  5. Take a break sometimes. It’s simple geography: a guy can’t want you if you’re always around. That doesn’t mean you should disappear completely. That would be confusing for him. It just means you should avoid being too clingy or needy. Be sure to take breaks from contact and be unavailable to him sometimes. Trust that absence will make his heart grow a little fonder. If you can make a guy miss you, you can make him want you.
  6. Be confident. I can’t say enough about the importance of confidence. A guy will desperately want you if you believe that he should want you. Show him that you’re comfortable with who you are and confident that any guy would be lucky to have you. If you believe that you’re something special, guys will believe it too and start to want you.
  7. Smell nice. Okay, this isn’t me saying this, it’s science. Pheromones are a real thing and can play a role in making someone want you. If there’s a certain soap or perfume that a guy says he likes, stick with it. He may have an inexplicable attraction to that scent, and as long as you wear it, he’ll want you.
  8. Be proactive in bed. So, this works in two ways. First, don’t be afraid to initiate sex sometimes. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but at least sometimes. Doing so will show a guy that you want him, and in turn, he’ll want you more. Second, don’t be afraid to take control in bed. This can include experimenting with new things. If you never let a guy get comfortable with a routine when it comes to sex, he’ll never know what to expect next and he’ll never stop wanting you.
  9. Let him know that you want him but don’t need him. You can and should be upfront about the fact that you really like this guy. Playing coy and acting aloof is something teenagers do and you’re a grown woman. However, you should also make it clear that you simply want him, you don’t need him. Your life isn’t incomplete without him and you’ll be fine if he’s not feeling it. Oddly enough, that just might make him want you even more.

If he’s not feeling you after all of that…

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It should go without saying that if you’re doing all of the things above and this guy still isn’t giving you the attention and interest you clearly deserve, he’s seriously missing out. However, that doesn’t mean you should go in even harder and work to try to change his mind. Instead, recognize that he’s clearly not on your level and he’s not the one for you.

Effort in relationships should be 50/50 and you should absolutely put yourself out there instead of always expecting him to come to you. However, you shouldn’t be the only one trying to impress. Even if it did work and you did eventually start dating, you’d be setting a terrible precedent and any subsequent relationship would be uneven and ultimately pretty toxic.

Hopefully, though, you don’t find yourself in that position. You’re such a catch, how could he not want you?

If you want some more tips on how to make a man want you, this time from a woman, check out Taty Cokley’s guide to making a guy want you below – it’s pretty great!

Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.