How To Respond To Nosy Questions From Your Family

Family members might feel like they can ask you anything because they’ve known you the longest, but that doesn’t mean some of their questions aren’t rude or awkward. Maybe they just want to learn more about you, but it’s still not cool. So, how do you deal? Here’s how to respond to nosy questions from your family at your next get-together so you don’t get sucked into unnecessary drama.

1. Laugh It Off.

When your mom asks why you’re still single or when you’re going to get a real job, diffuse the tension with a bit of humor. Give a playful response, like, “Mom, you know my dream man’s in jail right now!” or “Oh, I didn’t know Versace was head-hunting me! I’m in!” This can help you to keep things light and show the person you’re not taking their words to heart.

2. Chase Their Comment With A Compliment.

Here’s a fun way to flip the script on the person’s attempt at asking you a nosy question: compliment them. No, really! Say something like, “I love how you’re so tenacious” or “I just want to tell you, I appreciate how honest you are” so you can keep things a bit light without having to answer their question if you don’t want to.

3. Be A Little Vague.

Nothing irritates someone more than not getting a straight answer! By being a little mysterious with your reply, you can protect yourself. So, keep your answer general, such as by saying, “My career’s going well, thanks!” Then, change the subject or make some small talk so you don’t have to be stuck in the awkwardness or be forced to give more details.

4. Repeat The Same Thing.

If someone doesn’t like your reply to their question, they might keep asking you the same thing. Copy them by repeating the same answer, such as, “I’m happy in my life right now” or “Thanks for asking” so they (hopefully) get the hint that they can’t fish information out of you and you’re bringing the conversation to a dead-end.

5. Just Say “No.”

It might feel awkward to say something like, “I don’t want to talk about that right now,” but why shouldn’t you set boundaries? Your family should know that you have a right to privacy, even when it comes to your nearest and dearest. Besides, you don’t have to talk to them about your life if you don’t want to.

6. Switch Over To A New Topic.

A good way to deflect annoying questions is to come up with a new topic. You could say, “Hey, before I forget, did you guys see the new Margot Robbie movie?” or “This reminds me of the time we all flew to Chicago – remember that, guys?” Hopefully, someone will jump on the conversation bandwagon to take everyone’s attention off you.

7.  Ask A Question Back.

If you really don’t want to answer someone’s nosy question, you don’t have to. Just throw a question back at them. So, you could say, “Tell me, Aunt Rose, how is your health after your surgery?” or “How’s it going with your new job?” Turn the focus back onto them and they might take the bait, especially if they love talking about themselves.

8. Distract Them.

There’s always something in your surroundings you can use to distract a rude person. So, you could jump in and say, “Hey! Have you seen the beautiful roses in the garden?” or “Have you had some of the delicious pasta?” Hopefully, they’ll realize you don’t want to talk about your life, and they’ll go along with it. You could also try to bring someone else into the conversation, like by saying, “Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen June’s gorgeous dress?”

9. Don’t Get Into A Fight.

Sometimes, it’s easy to want to jump headfirst into a fight with someone who’s being rude and nosy. But hold yourself back. You don’t want to ruin the entire family lunch or special occasion with an argument, and you don’t need the drama that can hang around long after conflict. Seriously, it’s not worth your time and energy, so take the high road.

10. Excuse Yourself.

If someone’s really being rude, such as by asking you how much you weigh or why you can’t seem to keep a relationship going, the best thing to do is get out of the situation. Excuse yourself and go hang out with someone else or in another room for a while. You don’t have to engage with this person. In fact, they might be looking for a negative response, so don’t let them win.

11. Get Real About Your Feelings.

If you’re sick and tired of your aunt or brother always putting you on the spot and making you feel bad with their intrusive questions, it might be good to tell them to stop their behavior. Use “I feel” statements to explain how their words make you feel and why their approach is inappropriate. You’ll feel like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders!

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