How To Stay Grounded In The Midst Of Dating Drama

The journey to finding love is certainly not a smooth one for most people, and no matter how hard you try to stay chill and stress-free while dating, guys make that sh*t hard sometimes. Between lying, cheating, playing you hot and cold, and simply not knowing how to act like decent human beings with consideration for women sometimes, it’s enough to make you want to tear your hair out sometimes. However, you don’t have to let this get to you (well, at least not too much). If you want to stay grounded in the midst of all the dating drama, try doing these things.

  1. Maintain your sense of self-awareness. Before reacting to any drama in dating or otherwise, take a minute to reflect and understand your feelings. Why are you feeling a certain way? Is it due to past experiences, insecurities, or genuine concerns? Pausing to figure out what’s really driving your reaction is a great way to avoid doing or saying things you’ll later regret.
  2. Practice clear, direct communication. Half the time, fights are down to miscommunication on one person’s (or both people’s!) behalves. The way to avoid that? Always be open about what you’re thinking and feeling and where you stand,  but do so calmly and without accusing or insulting the other person. You can’t control their reaction to your words, but you can control how you handle yourself.
  3. Set boundaries and hold people to them. You’re allowed to say what flies and what doesn’t in your life. Figure out your hard boundaries, make them clear, and don’t let anyone cross them .This will not only help avoid drama in the dating world but also establish a foundation of mutual respect. Guys secretly love when women are hard-asses, so this comes with the added bonus of makingn you even hotter than you already are.
  4. Focus on self-care. Remember that it’s okay to take a step back and focus on yourself. Whether you want to cook an elaborate meal that takes three hours to prepare or go for a long run, do stuff that makes you feel calm, confident, and complete. You don’t need to explain or justify this to anyone, either — you’re doing what it takes to stay grounded.
  5. Try to find a bit of perspective. Talking to one of your close friends or even a family member can offer a whole new way to look at a situation. Sometimes, being too close to someone you’re dating or something that’s happening between you can cloud your judgment. Hey, it happens. However, it’s important to make sure you’re looking at things through as objective of a lens as possible.
  6. Avoid the social media spiral. Publicizing your dating drama or comparing your love life to couples you see on Instagram is not going to help anything. In fact, it’ll likely only amp up negative emotions and make what you’re going through even worse. Put down your phone and step away for a while. You’d be surprised at what a massive effect this can have on your mental well-being.
  7. Journal your feelings. Writing down your thoughts can be a therapeutic way to process emotions. It also offers a chance to reflect and gain clarity on a situation. If you hate writing or don’t feel like taking a trip to the stationery store, you can always try audio journaling, as well.
  8. Stay true to your values. Never compromise your core beliefs or principles for anyone. This will keep you grounded and ensure you stay true to yourself. Just as you hold people to your boundaries, don’t be tempted to stray from the values and ideals you hold deal just to please someone else or smooth out unwanted tension. Changing who you are or accepting bad behavior is never a good way to deal with dating drama.
  9. Practice mindfulness. Hit up a meditation app like Calm or Headspace to bring yourself back to center and get the ground back under your feet when things are getting too intense. Just as self-care is important, mindfulness practices are a form of self-care that will do wonders for your general emotional and mental health. You won’t exactly be able to say “f**k it” and not care when a guy is being a jerk, but you’ll certainly find it much easier to deal with.
  10. Take every experience as a lesson. Instead of getting overwhelmed by dating drama, see it as a learning experience. What can you take away from it? How can it help you grow? Even if this situation isn’t right for you, there’s one out there that is, and you’ll be that much more prepared for it when the time comes.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill