I Want A Boyfriend, But I Definitely Don’t Need A Guy To Be Happy

I Want A Boyfriend, But I Definitely Don’t Need A Guy To Be Happy ©iStock/gradyreese

My friends are always talking about how miserable they are without a boyfriend. While I understand the desire to be with someone, I’m pretty sure I don’t need to find love to be happy and I don’t understand why my friends don’t feel more fulfilled even when they’re single. Can love make someone happier? Sure. Is it a requirement to be happy? Hell no!

  1. I’m already loved. Love isn’t just about romance. I have close friends and family who love me dearly. Throughout my life, I’ve had love. I was happy as a child and wasn’t romantically involved, so why should that suddenly change now? I have love and that’s enough for me.
  2. I control my own happiness. I’m the one who controls my happiness, not some guy in my future. I have hobbies, my career, interests and more that boost my happiness. Yes, love is important, but I’m not about to let the lack of a relationship kill the happiness I’ve cultivated over 30 years.
  3. I have other goals in life. I could spend all my time on some epic quest to find love or I could do something else. I don’t need to find love to be successful in life. If it happens, great. If not, I have other goals. As long as I have friends, family and a career to support myself, I’m truly happy.
  4. I’m not dependent on a relationship status. I don’t give a damn about my current relationship status. Facebook isn’t real life. My status doesn’t define me and it never will. I’m the same person either way. While changing my status on Facebook seems to change everything, in real life, it doesn’t make much difference.
  5. Love comes and goes. I know I sound cynical, but it’s true. I’ve been in love more than once and watched it go away. I’ve learned I don’t need to find love to be happy. I was happy before and after. I might find that lasting romance one day, but for now, I just assume that it’s something that might not last when it does happen.
  6. I’m happy letting love find me. I work hard, so why should I have to work hard to find love? Relationships are hard work, so I’m just happy letting love find me. I’ll relax for now and work hard to make my relationship work when love does find me.
  7. Searching for love’s stressful AF. What app should I use? Where should I go? What should I wear? Should I act different? Why am I not getting any second dates? Just searching for love is enough to kill my mood. I’m happier without the stressful hunt.
  8. What happens if things don’t work out? I’ve been told a million times that I need to find love to be happy. As I’ve said, I’ve found love before. I also dealt with the fallout of a bad breakup too. I don’t remember that being a happy time in my life. So, no, finding love didn’t make me happier.
  9. It takes more than love to be happy. Love alone isn’t enough, at least not for me. I know some people are completely dependent on it, but I’m not. I need more. I could have the best relationship in the world, but if I don’t have a career and the freedom to pursue my passions, I’m miserable.
  10. I’m just as happy alone. I might be an oddity, but I’m actually happy alone. I can be happy with a partner, but when I’m single, I’m no less happy. I’ve created a great life for myself and I didn’t need to be in a relationship to do it.
  11. I may want love, but I don’t need it. I’m not heartless. I do want love, but it’s not something I need. I love myself and others already love me. Romantic love is nice, but I’m not going to fall apart if it doesn’t happen. Even if I’m still single 30 years from now, I’ll still be happy as a strong, independent and single woman.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.