If Someone Is Secretly Mad At You, They Usually Display These 11 Behaviors

You’re spending time with someone who used to be friendly and charming, but now you can’t shake the feeling that the vibe has become negative. What’s going on? At first you thought it was all in your head, but it’s happening whenever you’re in the same room together. They might be holding onto some anger and resentment, and yup — it’s about you. Here are 11 signs they’re secretly mad.

1. They’re Looking Away.

Instead of making strong eye contact with you, which shows that you’re both open and connecting, they’re always looking away. It’s like their eyes are looking at anything and everything in your surroundings instead of you. It’s hurtful because it’s a clear body language sign that they’re angry with you right now. It would be so much better if they’d just open up and chat.

2. They’re Texting One-Word Answers.

Although you and your friend used to chat for hours on WhatsApp, lately they give you one-word answers, like “Fine” or “Sure.” And, they’ve gone from splashing emojis all over your chat to giving you dry replies. There’s no emotion or fun. Yikes. Clearly, they’re trying to avoid chatting to you.

3. They’re Surprising You With Weird Criticism.

If someone’s secretly seething with anger, it might be too much for them to bottle up their emotions. So, their feelings might spill out as little snarky or sarcastic comments. Or, they might go all out and dish you criticisms that could take you by surprise, especially if your friend never used to be mean to you.

4. They’re Canceling Plans.

Your friend used to be down to meet up and hang out with you, but lately all they do is cancel your plans or find excuses for why they can’t get together. They’re always “so busy” these days, it’s ridiculous. They don’t even express apology for cancelling last minute – it’s like they don’t care ’cause they just want to avoid you.

5. They Criticize Your Traits In Other People.


When you’re around this person, they might make comments about other people who irritate them. You might notice that they’re basically talking about you! It’s so weird, but it’s a way for them to express their anger, just in a more indirect way. Yup, it’s one of the things passive-aggressive people do when they’re upset.

6. They Talk Around You.

Portrait of happy young people sitting by a lake with beers. Group of friends hanging out at the lake.

Being around this person can be a weird experience. They might talk to everyone around you, except you. If you try to talk to them directly, they’ll quickly avert their eyes or talk to someone else. It’s so uncomfortable, but a guaranteed sign they don’t want to deal with you. They might even plan group outings so they don’t have to be alone with you one-on-one.

7. They Rebel Against You.

You try to plan a group getaway to the mountains, and your friend changes the plans at the last minute so you all head to the beach instead. You plan a birthday party for a mutual friend and they seem to have issues with every part of the planning. It’s exhausting. They don’t want your life to be smooth or happy, and they’re going to bring you unhappiness by getting in your way.

8. They’re Short With You.

When you try to talk to your friend, she’s so impatient and irritable. She’ll quickly try to brush off your concerns or opinions, and find excuses for not getting into heavy or emotional conversations. The less time they can spend in the room with you, the better. Even worse, they might completely shut down when you’re around or leave your messages on “read” for days.

9. Their Body Language Is Tense.

stern millennial woman arms crossed outside

Your friend doesn’t look relaxed around you anymore. She might stand with rigid posture, cross her arms, or her jaw could be clenched. What she’s trying to hide with her words, she’s showing with her body language. She might also try to step further away from you to keep a safe distance. If you try to hug her, she’ll probably dive for the nearest exit!

10. They Find Everything You Say Annoying.

No matter how much you try to be your natural, charming self, your friend shoots you down with eye rolls, snorts, or by trying to get other people in your group of mutual friends to mock you. You keep getting shut down! With all her stone-walling tactics, it might be time to pull her aside and gently ask her if something’s bothering her.

11. They’re Having Fun In Front Of You.

Someone who’s angry with you might try to show you up by being happier than you. Okay, it’s childish, but it happens. So, they might try to show you that they’re having fun with other people, or that they’re so in love with their boyfriend they can’t help but kiss him in front of you or look like they’re walking on air. Yikes. It’s so over the top, but the happier they seem, the angrier they are.

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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