I’m Lonely Being Single & I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It

I’m Lonely Being Single & I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It ©iStock//skynesher

Thankfully, it’s not super lame to be single anymore, and tons of women are living full lives without love. With all that happiness and acceptance comes an annoying side-effect, though: the idea that if you’re single, you have to adore being alone. If that’s not your reality, that’s totally fine, but it’s not mine. I’m lonely on my own, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

  1. I’m honest. I’m not the only single woman in the world who kind of hates it — I’m just one of the brave ones. My friends claim they love the freedom and mystery of not knowing what’s in store, but I’m honest about the fact that I hate coming home to an empty apartment and I really want a partner in life.
  2. I want love. I really want to fall for someone and experience all the magic that comes along with that experience, so it’s totally normal to feel lonely. I want what you don’t have, so of course I’m going to be sad. That’s kind of the way that it works, and I’m not going to beat myself up over it.
  3. I’m normal, not perfect. The Perfect Single Woman of rom-coms and chick lit novels is happy, successful, confident, and never sheds even one tear. That’s not me, and that’s totally fine. I would be kind of a horror story if I was so stone-faced and unemotional, so I’m embracing your loneliness.
  4. I can’t escape happy couples. My BFF finally found a decent guy, my sister just got engaged, my coworkers are all coupled up… Everywhere I look, from couples holding hands on the street to the TV shows I love, I see happy couples. It can be tough to accept that, for now at least, that’s not my reality.
  5. I’m beyond ready for something real. I’m single for a reason, after all. I’m done with hook-ups and ghosts and anyone and anything that doesn’t make me crazy with happiness. I’m a grown woman, and it can be super hard to be happy being single all the time because I know what I’m missing out on.
  6. I look back on love fondly. I know what it’s like to be so in love that my world forever changes (until we break up and things change even more, of course). Maybe if I’d never loved anyone, I would love being solo because I wouldn’t have anything to compare it to, but for better or worse, I do.
  7. I’m sick of your routine. It’s super easy to get into a routine when you’re by yourself. Go to work, come home, reheat something for diner, watch TV, go to bed. Repeat forever and ever. A routine can quickly turn into a rut and then suddenly you’re boring yourself. You’re going to feel lonelier than ever when this happens, and sure, you can make more of an effort to be social. But finding love will always kill your single girl rut in the best way possible.
  8. You’re cursed with bad dates. Okay, you’re not exactly cursed, but lately it definitely feels that way. Meeting total strangers that you hate at best and are creeped out by at worst is a one-way ticket to loneliness. So give yourself a break and feel what you feel. It’s truly okay.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.