16 Reasons The Best Women Often Stay Single The Longest

In a world where being coupled up or in a relationship seems like the be-all, end-all for many women, the reality is that being single can actually be better. There may be pluses to getting married, but it can also be a bit overrated. Instead, rolling solo for as long as possible is the way to go, at least for some. If you’re still on your own and feeling weird about it, don’t — here’s why the best women stay single the longest.

1. You deserve an amazing guy.

Whether it’s for another human being or some job that you know you’re better than, you just refuse to settle in any way. Since that’s the case, you sure as hell aren’t going to waste your time being with someone who doesn’t live up to your standards.

2. You like doing what you want when you want.

You like to come and go as you please, go to dinner when you want to, and sleep a la starfish position in your bed alone. You don’t need or want attachments that are going to interfere with your plans.

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4. You’re a natural risk-taker.

You’ve never been conventional in your thoughts or actions, and you’re the first one of your friends to sign up for cliff jumping or skydiving. You’d prefer to know the thrill of living on the edge, than huddling away in a life that’s ordinary.

5. You’re so unique that it’s not easy to find a good match for you.

You know, someone who has a penchant for jumping out of planes and drinking milk past the expiration date, too.

6. Your top priorities don’t include being someone’s girlfriend or wife.

Far too many women define themselves by being the girlfriend or wife of someone else. They allow themselves to be absorbed into the life of another until they’re no longer their own entity. But you, the woman who’s going to stay single the longest, don’t buy into that. You have an identity and that doesn’t involve being one part of a whole. You’re already whole.

7. You love the excitement of first kisses.

Kissing the same person for the rest of your life? Getting it on with the same person until you’re dead? Are you kidding me? You’re holding out and enjoying first kisses with new people as long as possible.

8. You want to taste all the flavors of the casual hookup scene.

You never really know what you’re into until you’ve tasted all there is to offer, and casual hookups are definitely the way to do that.

9. You’d rather not share your hard-earned money.

In relationships, things become 50/50 and suddenly you have to watch your spending for the sake of your partnership. You’re not ready to give up the frivolous spending of your hard-earned cash for the future of your relationship.

10. You don’t want to have to check in with anyone.

Nothing kills a night quite like your partner texting you at 3 a.m. asking where you are. Screw that noise. You want to stay out until dawn if you feel like it.

11. You love being the single girl at weddings.

Single women at weddings kill it in the guy department. Not only do you have single men eyeing you, but married men who miss their single days, too. It’s also a perfect time to celebrate the fact that you don’t have to deal with your own wedding anytime soon, which also means more money for shoes, brunch, and trips to faraway places.

12. You don’t want to give up vacuuming in the nude.

Your apartment is a clothes-free territory, and you want to keep it that way ― whether you’re vacuuming, eating, or are sprawled out on the couch watching Netflix.

13. You love the freedom of not having plans.

Your singlehood allows you to drop everything on a Friday and jet off to Rome if that’s what you want to do. When was the last time any of your married friends did such a thing?

14. You’re busy building an empire.

While others have a job, you have a career and it’s important to you to focus on that and go as far as you can in it.

15. You don’t have the time for someone else’s problems.

Being in a relationship means dealing with someone else’s crap, and you just don’t have time for that. You have your own problems, and once you get those figured out then maybe you’ll take on the drama of someone else and their issues.

16. You’re not concerned about your biological clock.

If fact, when others bring it up, you just laugh. Really? The only reason you ever look at the clock is to see how many more drinks you can get before happy hour is over.

17. You’re already in a relationship with yourself.

You don’t need to commit yourself to anyone else because you’ve got something really awesome going on with yourself. You can count on yourself, provide for yourself, and can make yourself orgasm like no one else out there. You’ve got it made and plan on keeping things this awesome for as long as possible.

What the experts say about women who stay single

1. Single women are just as happy as those who are coupled up.

While a 2008 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that single people are seen as unhappy, the same study revealed that in reality, single people are just as upbeat and fulfilled as those who are coupled up. Duh.

2. Single women feel mentally freer.

As relationship expert and author Susan Winter explains, single people are more likely to have uncluttered minds. “Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive,” she says. “Intimacy and partnership takes up a lot of space in our heads. Even though much of this is happening unconsciously, there’s simply a lesser capacity for individually focused thought.” Being on your own means less time worrying about your partner and any potential relationship issues that might arise. Sounds pretty freeing to me.

3. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.

Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks.  Just click here.

4. Single women are more adaptable.

Life throws all kinds of curveballs your way and that can be hard to take on board and even adjust to. However, those who stay single end up coping way better. “It’s almost like you have no choice,” says psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Niloo Dardashti. “When you’re alone you have to be more self-sufficient.” You’re also more likely to go after your biggest goals and dreams. Dardashti adds: “You’re more likely to take risks and have adventures and have more novelty within your journey.”

5. You have much stronger friendships.

It’s no secret that when you’re in a relationship, you tend to have far less time for your friends, which seriously sucks. Not so when you’re single. “One of the major benefits of being single is having the space in your life to spend quality time with friends,” says clinical psychologist Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D. That theory was proven in a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, with the findings showing increased social connections between single people.

6. Single women tend to be healthier too.

According to research, unmarried women are better off than married ones when it comes to health. This is because being single means having more time to focus on your well-being. A survey of more than 13,000 people found that single women exercise more frequently, and a 2017 study from the Journal of Women’s Health found that those who roll solo have lower BMIs and lower risks associated with smoking and alcohol. That’s pretty sweet!

7. Single women get it on more.

It seems counterintuitive to suggest that women who aren’t in relationships are getting it on more than those with a regular partner at the ready, but it’s true. Survey data collected from more than 26,000 people between 1989 and 2014 found that single people are indeed enjoying intimacy often than those in serious long-term relationships.

8. Single women know themselves better.

While it’s unfair to say that women in relationships aren’t in touch with themselves, it makes sense that those who stay single have a different level of knowledge due to having the time to actually figure themselves out. “One of the most important relationships you will have is with yourself,” says Zarrabi. “Being single can provide a valuable opportunity to learn about your likes/dislikes, embrace your authentic self, and explore hobbies or activities you’ve been itching to try,” says Zarrabi. Makes sense!

Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.