I’m Single But Not Quite Ready To Mingle

I’m Single But Not Quite Ready To Mingle ©iStock/svetikd

I’ve been single for awhile now. It’s something I don’t really think about too often and it actually doesn’t bother me. While I have a lot of single friends who hate being alone and can’t wait to find someone to call their S.O., I’m the total opposite. It’s not that I don’t want eventually want to be in a long-term relationship, but for now, I think I’m good right where I’m at. Here’s why:

  1. I like having my freedom. Plenty of my friends in relationships do this thing where they check in with their boyfriends non-stop to let them know where they’re at and what they’re doing at any given time. It’s basically an unnecessary responsibility. Feeling obligated to tell someone where I am and who I’m with isn’t in my plans. I know it’s just basic consideration when you’re dating, but I think I’ll keep my freedom instead.
  2. I’ve learned to enjoy my alone time. A good book on the beach or a Netflix marathon have become some of my favorite things to do. And the last time I checked, I don’t need a guy in order to delight in those hobbies. I’m even easing myself into having a dinner/movie date with myself. Go me!
  3. I’m afraid I won’t like myself in a relationship. I don’t want to be a completely different person when I get a boyfriend. It happens — I’ve seen it. I don’t want to be the one that causes my friends to drift away or the reason my family stops calling. They say change is good, but I say not today, Satan.
  4. I don’t want to date someone on my level. Every day, I’m working on making myself a better person. I’m going to the gym so I can have the body I want. I’m working hard at work so I can be a boss. I’m also saving money so I can travel and buy the things I want and deserve. I wouldn’t want to date someone at the level I’m at now. It’s better we both work on ourselves for now and if it’s meant to be, we’ll come together later.
  5. I feel like dating is way too exhausting. Having a large french vanilla iced latte is already part of my day. If I add dating into the mix, I’m going to need twice as much caffeine. Trying to impress guys and keep the conversation going seems way too tiring and I don’t want to partake in that. My energy needs to be used for more important things.
  6. My friends have set really bad examples. Somehow, their relationships never last. They go from the honeymoon phase to “I hate your guts” extremely fast and that freaks me out. I don’t want to waste my time. I know not every relationship turns out like this, but you can only witness so many disasters before you start freaking out.
  7. I don’t know what I’m looking for. Being single has allowed me to get to know myself, but I haven’t figured out what I really want in a significant other. I guess that’s the point of dating, but I feel like I should at least have a starting point. I don’t have the slightest clue what qualities I’m looking for in my future husband, so I’d rather not bother right now.
  8. I’m scared my heart will get broken. I don’t think I’m ready to feel that kind of pain. Is it really worth the risk? The best way I know how to avoid it is to stay single. Attempting to date seems like it could lead to unwanted heartache and trouble. I say no thanks. I’ll pass.
  9. I don’t want to settle for the sake of not being alone. Since I don’t know what I’m looking for in a partner, I’m afraid if I get wrapped up in dating, I’ll eventually take what I can get (which will be less than I deserve) just for the sake of ending the dating insanity. That wouldn’t be good for either of us.
  10. I hate the idea that you can’t be happy to be single. Why is the assumption that if you’re not already in a relationship, you must be actively looking for one because you surely couldn’t be happy on your own? That’s BS. I’m living proof that rolling solo isn’t a death sentence. It’s just another phase of life, and I’m enjoying it while it lasts.
Darren is a passionate young editorial professional with a sassy voice on and off the page. Intrinsically motivated to be successful, Darren strives to make the best out of everyday. He enjoys twerking it out at the gym, reading fiction novels, and slaying the dance floor with his friends.