I’m A Strong Woman, But I Don’t Like Making The First Move

I’m A Strong Woman, But I Don’t Like Making The First Move ©iStock/AlenaPaulus

Women are very strong and independent these days, and some think that should translate into dating, as well —meaning that women should be OK with making the first move on a guy. I’m as strong as the next fearless female when it comes to my career and my independence, but I’m not comfortable starting things with a guy. Here’s why:

  1. If he hasn’t made a move, it’s safe to assume he’s not interested. Guys usually aren’t shy about letting a girl know he likes her. Chasing women is something guys do naturally; if he hasn’t shown interest in you, he’s probably not interested.
  2. We can safely and subtly show our interest by flirting. Flirting is fun and harmless, so it can be used to let a guy know you like him without going as far as asking him out and risking rejection/embarrassment.
  3. We don’t want to run the risk of being used as a cheap hookup. If you’re into a guy and the feeling isn’t mutual, there’s a good chance he’d still go out with you if asked, because there’s a possibility of sex. No one wants to be the girl who’s used as a booty call until he finds someone “better.”
  4. Being pursued is awesome. I believe that a strong guy is the perfect match for a strong woman and they’re also the type who will pursue a woman and make her feel like the most beautiful person alive. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the attention.
  5. Chivalry isn’t dead. Women are taking the business world by storm, but that doesn’t mean we always want to lead. In fact, being bosses all day makes us more likely to want a chivalrous guy to ask us to dinner and open doors for us.
  6. Making the first move is scary. Whether it’s asking someone out or initiating a first kiss, it’s intimidating, especially if he’s hard to read and you can’t tell what he’s thinking. You don’t always have to be the brave one; you can wait it out.
  7. Guys who pursue are more romantic. This makes them better boyfriends in the long-run for those of us who appreciate romance. If he’s so indifferent at the beginning of your relationship that he doesn’t even ask you out, there’s a good chance he’ll be indifferent about your love down the road as well and that hurts.
  8. They’re also more passionate, which can mean better sex. If a guy has put in the time and effort to pursue you, he has passion and you bring it out in him. Passion is irresistible and it makes sex so much better. Enjoy being the object of his passion.
  9. If he romantically pursues you, it’s more likely that he wants something real. Obviously, we have to leave a small margin of error for the players who act the part in hopes of getting just one thing. For the most part, though, the guy who makes actual romantic gestures is the kind who’s not allergic to commitment and possibly worth your time.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible.