From Insatiable To Asexual: How Sex Drive Can Make Or Break Your Relationship

No two people are exactly the same when it comes to sexual preferences, and that can make relationships even more complicated than they already are.¬†Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but when two people are on different pages sexually, it ends up seeming like the most important thing in the world. No one can really control their sex drive, and that makes it one of those things that can make or break a relationship.

  1. No one wants to feel like they’re always doing the chasing. Even guys like to take a break from being the initiator every once in awhile. We all like to feel like someone else wants us so bad that they can’t help but go for it, right? Differing sex drives can mean one person is always going to feel like they’re always doing most of the work.
  2. Sex shouldn’t feel like an obligation. If one person rarely wants to have sex, they might start to feel guilty that they aren’t giving their partner what they want. Then they’ll feel obligated to have sex even when they don’t necessarily want to. They mean well, but no one wants pity sex. It’s just not the same.
  3. There are too many opportunities to cheat. With online dating and apps like Tinder, meeting new people is easier than ever. If someone isn’t getting what they want in their relationship, it wouldn’t be that hard to find a hook up. They could even justify it by saying they love their partner, but they still have needs.
  4. Suppressing your desires isn’t sustainable. While putting your sexual needs aside in the short term may be doable, think about going the rest of your life without having the kind of sex you want to have, ever again. Sounds more like a prison sentence than a happy relationship.
  5. Constant rejection takes a toll. Even if you know logically that it isn’t you personally that’s being rejected, but rather sex in general, it’s still not easy to put yourself out there and be shot down over and over. After awhile, it’s only natural to start thinking there is something wrong with you that makes your partner not want to have sex with you, even if they insist that’s not the case.
  6. Sex drive can be related to a lot of factors. Stress, medication and illness can all have an affect on someone’s libido. Just because you’re insatiable in the beginning of a relationship doesn’t mean you’ll always feel that way. Then once you’ve been with someone awhile, changes in sex drive can eat away at your relationship, because you don’t want to make it a big deal, but deep down, you know it is.
  7. Some people need more physical affection. Everyone shows love and affection in different ways, but for people who need physical affection in order to be happy in a relationship, a lack of sex is going to be a huge problem. It will make them feel unwanted and invisible which is of course going to lead to resentment.
  8. Low sex drive can make you feel inadequate. A guy with a low libido especially might feel like he isn’t a real man because he isn’t that stereotypical ‘horny all the time’ type guy. If he isn’t giving his partner what she wants, he’ll feel like he isn’t good enough and she’ll just end up dumping him for a guy who actually wants to have sex with her.
  9. There’s no way to change your libido. While it’s possible to work on a lot of relationship issues, your sex drive isn’t a switch you can turn on and off. For whatever reason, you either want sex or you don’t. You can always make the effort to meet your partner in the middle, but that just means neither one of you is 100% happy, and that’s no way to live.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.
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