Instead Of Crying Over The Fact That He Doesn’t Like You, Focus On These Things Instead

It sucks to sit around and wonder why someone doesn’t like you—especially when you seem to have such great chemistry. The truth is that sometimes things just don’t work out and there’s nothing you can do about it. Instead of lamenting over a one-sided crush, here’s what you should truly be focusing on:

  1. How to better yourself You’re not going to impress every guy. Even if you’re the most likable person in the world, it doesn’t mean that relationships will always go your way. If your crush is keeping a distance for a reason, try to focus on why. Are you too clingy? Too self-obsessed with social media? Or maybe you’re just subliminally negative. By working on yourself, you’ll grow as a person, and be able to connect better with the right guy when he comes along.
  2. Finding a new passion or hobby to distract you Sometimes we dwell on guys because we’re simply bored. In order to get Mr. Wrong out of your mind, try taking up a new hobby. Since it’s the summer, there are plenty of fun, outdoorsy things you can try. Ever take a hike and enjoy nature? It’s the perfect way to find a little peace.
  3. Your BFFs who are always there for you Plan a date out with your friends—just make sure not to monopolize the conversation over why guys suck. A little bit of venting will definitely help you out, but it’ll only add fuel to the fire of your pity party. Ask them how they’re doing—it’ll help remind you that you’re never alone and you have a great crew who always has your back.
  4. All the things that make you and this guy incompatible When a crush is in full force, it’s common to wear rose-colored glasses. That means that all of the red flags and bad behaviors often get swept under the rug of love and adoration. Maybe it’s time to shift gears and focus more on what you and your crush didn’t have in common. There are plenty of reasons why he’d make a terrible boyfriend and by focusing on them, you’ll realize that you were probably better off.
  5. Making big moves in your career While most women are incredible multitaskers and are capable of juggling love AND work, taking your mind off of your crush will only give you more time to focus on your career. No matter your chosen field, there’s always room for advancement. If you’re in a field you love, focusing on getting ahead and improving your title will be time well spent.
  6. Figuring out what you truly want in a guy If you’ve noticed that you keep getting into the “crush doesn’t like me” cycle, maybe you’re just pursuing the wrong kind of guy. Maybe you keep getting rejected because you fall for the commitment-phobes. Try to broaden your search filter a bit when it comes to dating and see what happens. You might just end up being pleasantly surprised.
  7. The possibility that maybe you need a dating hiatus Maybe, just maybe, you were rejected because you’re giving off the “afraid to be alone” vibe. Maybe it has nothing to do with you but with your actions in chatting with the guy. Know what you need? A dating hiatus. Stop focusing on guys for awhile and do your own thing. In embracing your single status, you’ll figure out what truly makes you happy.
  8. The guy that you friend-zoned Sometimes it’s good to remember how rejection feels. In a way, it can definitely help you center yourself a bit. If you put someone squarely in the friend-zone, focus on why. Did you just not see him in a romantic way but liked everything else about him? That’s probably why your crush didn’t say yes to that date. By putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, you can get a better grasp of the situation at hand.
  9. Giving your pets extra cuddles Know who wants to spend every waking hour with you? Your dog. Consider taking him on a nice, long walk. It can be totally relaxing, and if you’ve been cooped up at home feeling sad, it’s the perfect excuse to leave the house and get some fresh air.
  10. Creating an amazing, inspiring living space Cleaning is incredibly therapeutic—and you’ll feel so much better about the situation when you’re surrounded by nothing but fresh space. Instead of regrettable tweets or texts, take your anger and sadness out on that wine stain that’s been lingering on your countertop for the last month.
  11. Spending time with your parents Yes, really. They probably had a lot of broken hearts themselves during the early years but then they found each other, and you were born. Your parents might not still be together, but if so? It’s proof that sometimes things happen for a reason. If they’re divorced, it’s proof that life does go on after a breakup—even if it’s hard.  No matter what their situation is, you can definitely find inspiration to move forward with mom and dad.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.