Is He Playing You? How To Tell If You’re Being Two-Timed

He seems way too good to be true, but you ignore that nagging feeling that’s something’s off. Listen to your gut. Mr. Perfect could just be Mr. Player. Trying to figure out if he’s playing you or not isn’t all that hard, because no matter how good he thinks he is, he’ll give himself away. There’s always one thing players don’t deserve: an incredible woman like you. Go ahead, find out if he’s a player and then ruin his massive ego by finding someone better.

  1. He smoothly avoids any mushy stuff. Okay, so guys in general tend to avoid sweet talk. Players go the extra mile. They try to smoothly change the subject anytime you mention anything related to love. He’d probably rather eat his own arm off than cuddle with you after sex, too. If it’s sweet and emotional, he’s out.
  2. He cancels on the important things. Did you plan a nice dinner with your parents? Did he promise to take you to your favorite restaurant for your birthday? Whatever the plans, get ready to be disappointed. He will call and cancel. He’ll have a great excuse, but he’s just lying his ass off.
  3. He’s only around when he needs something. He couldn’t make it for your birthday, but he has no problem calling you up for a ride when his car’s in the shop. Have you ever noticed he’s only around when he wants something from you? You’re not his girlfriend. You’re his chauffeur, booty call, wallet and anything else he might need.
  4. He has you pay for everything. There’s nothing wrong with the woman paying. It’s an issue when your guy has you pay for everything. I’m not just talking about dinner and a movie. He picks you up and then has you pay for gas. He goes shopping and expects you to foot the bill. Just pretend you’re broke and see how often he comes around.
  5. He flirts with other women. Talking to other women is one thing. Flirting with them is another. Honestly, what kind of guy does that? I guess players think they’re so hot that you’ll be fine with it. It’s not fine. Watch how he acts around other women. If he’s playing you, it’ll be obvious.
  6. He talks about other women often. Players don’t stop at just flirting. They can’t stop themselves from talking about other women. If your conversations tend to be mainly focused on all the women he’s talked to or been with, run away now! He’s just playing you and adding your name to his list of conquests.
  7. He avoids alone time outside of sex. Want to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie? Unless it quickly leads to sex, he’ll plan something else. Since he’s not interested in a real relationship, he doesn’t want to spend time alone with you. In public, he can at least check out other women.
  8. He’s never nervous. Any guy who’s truly into you is going to seem a little nervous when you first start talking or during a first kiss. Players are cocky. They don’t really understand the word no because they feel they’re too perfect for anyone to turn them down. If he seems too confident, he’s probably playing you.
  9. He forgets or confuses important details about you. When a guy’s juggling multiple women at once, he’s going to forget some things. If he starts forgetting important details such as your job or favorite hobby, you’ve got a problem. It’s even worse if he mixes the details up with another woman’s. It’s a major red flag and you shouldn’t put up with it.
  10. His girlfriend shows up. Now, he’ll adamantly deny he has a girlfriend, but he’s probably lying. Want to know for sure? Ask her how they met. He’ll have forgotten by now. Still not sure? If there’s an angry woman claiming her boyfriend is cheating on her with you and she dumps him, he’s a player.
  11. All his exes hate him. Everyone has a few exes who probably hate them. Players collect exes like most people collect random knick knacks. Are you always running into his exes and they’re happy to tell him and you how much they hate him? There’s a reason so many people can’t stand him. He’s a loser and you’re soon to be the next ex who hates him.
  12. He says he just wants to have fun. He’ll say all the right things to get you hooked, but after that, he says he just wants to have fun. This is the only response you’ll get when you try to talk about the future. He wants to keep it fun and casual because that’s what he’s doing with all his other women.
  13. He has way too many female friends. Players usually surround themselves with women. He’s probably trying to sleep with all of them, but he’ll tell you they’re all just his friends. Some female friends are fine. If that’s all he hangs out with, you  might have a player on your hands.
  14. He gets pissy when you don’t put out. Guys have this bad habit of getting a little moody if you don’t put out when they think you should. A good guy doesn’t really care and loves you anyway. Players get extra pissy and usually cut the date short. After all, they have other women on speed dial. Let him deal with his own blue balls and if that’s the kind of attitude he wants to have.
  15. There’s no consistency. Most couples see each other on a regular basis. They might get together three or four times a week. If he’s playing you, you might see him once this week, three times next week and not at all the third week. Don’t even try to figure out when he might call or text. And when he does, it’ll be because he wants something from you.
  16. You catch him lying. No player is as good as he thinks he is. He will make a mistake and you’ll catch him in a lie. Try asking him what he did a few weeks ago when he canceled on you. Ask how that movie he supposedly went to was. He’ll stumble or answer wrong and you’ll know for sure.

The only ones who like players are themselves. If you see any of these signs, get yourself someone better and warn all your friends.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.