After my last serious long-term relationship ended, I spent about 18 months working on me and avoiding dating altogether and it was the best decision I could have made. Eventually, I decided to get back in the saddle and try to enjoy what casual dating had to offer. Instead of slowly trotting into the dating scene, I went full on gallop and it’s been absolutely exhausting.
I really don’t like people.
The number of guys I’ve dated recently has only helped solidify my need for solitude. Getting to know someone’s likes, dislikes and every other small talk aspect about them is so damn boring. I’d rather be doing literally anything else than sitting across a table in a crowded bar trying to feel a spark with someone I only swiped right on because I liked their face. It’s just too much.
I have too much to do outside of dating.
Between my day job, my side gig, and all of the personal goals and projects I have on the go, there just isn’t time for it all. I still need to sleep, dammit. Honestly, daily life is physically and mentally tiring enough on its own, and I still need to make time for about my friends and family, my hobbies and passions and taking care of myself. It’s really only natural that dating has come in dead last on my list of priorities for so long.
Real connections are incredibly rare.
Really connecting with a guy isn’t something that happens to me often, dating or not, and all I seem to find myself doing is checking off another name on my “no thanks” list. I’m not trying to sound like a huge bitch here, but if I’m going to pursue date two, the guy needs to have something seriously special about him. Otherwise, I’ve already wasted two good hours of my life I’ll never get back and I’m not about to do it again.
Overthinking tires me out.
I honestly can’t help but overthink everything when it comes to dating. Is he bored? Am I bored? Why are we even here with each other? One or both of us should have known that this was going be a colossal failure. We’re clearly both desperate idiots to even be bothering.
First dates are job interviews that’s stressful AF.
The questions are just so tedious and the conversations are always the same. What do you do for a living? Where’d you grow up? Blah blah blah. I hate being asked the same questions over and over again by different mouths because it’s like I’m stuck in some bad date Groundhog Day. I know it’s a necessary part of dating, but it’s just too much for me and I really don’t want any part of it.
Dating should be fun, shouldn’t it?
I’m fully away that I may actually be doing it wrong because it’s supposed to be fun. I really just think that I’m not someone who enjoys dating multiple men at a time until one proves to be the best match. I’d rather not date at all or have something happen organically. I’ve had one date recently where it felt like we were old friends, and that was the only one that made me think any of it was worth it.
Most of the time, it’s just awkward.
The amount of energy it takes to muster up the courage to go on a date in the first place is ridiculous; the energy that’s needed to be stuck in an exchange of weird glances and super awkward silences is even more than that. Not feeling comfortable is a real energy killer, and that’s what always seems to happen.
I hate getting ready for dates.
I always feel as though I have to dress up a bit and do my makeup really well—better than if I were to just be going on a girls’ night out. I don’t know why I feel the need to try so damn hard but I do and that’s part of the reason why I just can’t date that much. I’m usually down to earth and wearing nothing but mascara and Chuck Taylors, so having to spruce it up for a guy I don’t even know over and over again is just not something I like doing.
I’m always trying to pay extra attention.
It’s like when I first started driving and it made me so tired because I was giving everything around me 110 percent of my attention. I do the same on dates because I want to a) make sure I’m listening so I can respond accordingly and b) make sure that if it does miraculously make it to date two, I’m not repeating any of the same things we’ve already talked bout. The problem with that, though, is that it takes so much out of me that my mind just ends up a jumbled mess anyway.
It takes a lot of effort to be a censored version of myself.
There’s certain dating etiquette that needs to be adhered to, and being yourself without being too open or intense is probably the cardinal rule. I’m not one to really hold back any of myself unless I feel uncomfortable, but the more dates I go on, the more I feel the need to do so. I’d rather just go to bed.
It isn’t easy wanting a relationship but not wanting to date.
I really do want to find the love of my life and give away all this love I’ve been saving for the right guy, bit’s just not an easy task when dating is so damn tiring. What’s a girl to do?
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