Just Because You’re A Single Woman Doesn’t Mean Dating Has To Be Your Focus

Many single women jump into the dating world, not because they truly want to find someone, but because they feel like they have to. Despite it now being well into the 21st century, women are still made to feel like being single is a problem to fix. And the truth that is you don’t have to focus on dating just because you’re a single woman. There’s a lot more to life!

It’s okay to like being single. Dating doesn’t have to be your focus if you’re a single woman because it’s actually okay to be single. Society will tell you that you need a partner to be complete, especially as a woman. But it’s just not true. Some people are genuinely happier on their own, whether that’s a temporary lifestyle or a permanent one. Singledom isn’t something you have to address and fix if you don’t want to! So it’s totally fine to not date.

Life is short and there’s so much to do. Ultimately, life is too short to do things you don’t want to do. If a relationship isn’t for you right now, or ever, don’t waste your time pursuing that. Instead, use the limited time you have to do things you actually want to do. Get a bucket list together and tick off the things that you aspire to, whether that’s learning a new skill, traveling, or something else. As long as you’re doing what makes you happy, you’re not wasting time.

Your other goals deserve your attention. Dating doesn’t have to be your focus simply because you might have other goals that do require your attention. Sometimes, in order to bring your dreams to fruition, you have to focus on them rather than letting dating distract you. Because let’s face it, modern dating can be draining! If you have other goals, including career goals, health goals, or life goals in general, they are just as deserving of your time as dating is. Finding a partner doesn’t have to be your top priority just because you’re a woman.

Other relationships require attention too. Being single doesn’t mean your life is void of relationships altogether. Sometimes, friendships and family relationships can take a lot of work. If it’s too much for you to handle at once, you don’t have to add dating to your already full plate.

It’s also okay to focus on nothing. Having other goals is a good reason not to force yourself to focus on dating. But that’s not a prerequisite. It’s also okay to focus on absolutely nothing and just live your life. You’re an adult and can design your life the way you want. If you don’t want to date, you don’t need an excuse signed by a parent with a doctor’s certificate to back it up! How you live your life is up to you.

Self-love should be a priority. Loving yourself should be part of your life, however you choose to live it, because you deserve love. If the love is flowing in this way, you don’t have to rely on a relationship to feel loved and worthy. And if you struggle with self-love, it’s probably worth taking time out from dating to work on that.

You need to develop your independence and self-reliance. Similarly, it’s important to develop a sense of independence and self-reliance. A great way to build this up is to not fall into dating because you feel like you need a partner.

Life is overwhelming enough. Honestly, modern life is overwhelming enough. Between pandemics, soaring house prices, wars overseas, and food shortages, you don’t need yet another thing to worry about. If your heart truly desires a relationship, that’s okay. But if it’s not something you want, forcing it just adds to the ever-growing list of stress triggers in your life.

Dating is exhausting. Dating as a single woman is fun and can teach you a lot, but let’s call a spade a spade. It’s exhausting. Between getting ghosted on Tinder and cat-fished on Hinge, dating can really start to affect your mental health. It’s totally okay to take a break if dating isn’t the right choice for you. 

Dating can be terrifying. Aside from being exhausting, dating can be terrifying. Can we acknowledge how scary it is to put yourself out there, sometimes in front of a total stranger, where anything could happen? Don’t beat yourself up if you need to move slowly through the dating world and take lots of breaks.

And dating can make you jaded. If you get to a point where dating has made you hopeless about finding love, then continuing to pursue it can actually make things worse. It can keep eroding your faith and self-esteem until you’re ready to give up on love altogether. Even if your end goal is to find true love, obsessively dating all of the time might not be the answer. Sometimes, you need to focus on other things and rebuild your faith before you come back to it.

You have your whole life to date. Dating doesn’t have to be your focus right now because you have your whole life to do it. Coming from someone whose grandmother recently got asked on a date in a nursing home, trust me. Let dating be your focus only when you want it to be.

Society’s views of single women are grounded in misogyny. The biggest reason to avoid dedicating yourself to dating is that the pressure that society places on single women to do so is grounded in misogyny. It stems from the idea that women need a relationship to be happy, and there’s nothing more fulfilling they can do with their lives than get married and have children. While there’s nothing wrong with that if you truly want it, you don’t have to aspire to a life based on views that haven’t changed in millennia.

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