If He’s A Lousy Texter, He’s Going To Be A Lousy Boyfriend

While texting isn’t everything, it’s impossible to ignore how big of a part it plays in dating. How a guy texts can help you figure out what you can expect from a potential relationship with him. It’s a preview of coming attractions — or disappointments. Here are some texting behaviors to look out for:

  1. He doesn’t answer your texts for hours or days. This sucks and shows that he’s unreliable and all over the place. Everyone has their phone with them so it’s no excuse. If he’s doing this via text, imagine what he’ll be like once you’re in a relationship — you’ll be stuck with a guy going AWOL every now and then. Not cool.
  2. He texts “k.” This one letter can spark fury in people, and rightly so — it’s the laziest, most ridiculous thing to text. Clearly, if he’s often texting “k,” or other annoying things, like “lol,” it seems that he won’t be pulling his weight much. I mean, really, how hard it is to write full words? If he can’t even do that, how can he do anything? FFS.
  3. He waits for you to initiate contact. You’re always the one sending texts first. That’s not a good sign. Clearly you’re more invested in the relationship with this guy than he is. Back off and see what he does. If he goes for days without even making any contact, he’s not worth your time.
  4. He’d rather send penis pics than actually talk. Instead of having a conversation with words, he wants to get sexual so he’ll show you pictures of his junk instead of sending you a thoughtful message. Nuh-uh. This dude is just looking for a booty call.
  5. He says he’s “just seen” your messages or missed calls. Yes, even though you sent him a text eight hours ago. Where was he and what’s he been so busy with? He clearly feels bad about disappearing on you so he’s trying to be polite, but it’s not good enough. He could’ve spared three minutes to reply to your text if he wanted to.
  6. He sends group texts. If a guy is fond of sending you messages that start with “hey guys” or they just don’t seem to be personal, clearly you’re just part of his friend circle and he’s sending the same old texts to a bunch of people. He doesn’t see you as more than a friend because if he did, he’d be sending you unique, personal messages.
  7. He texts you to call him. A guy who texts you to ask if you can call him is a cheap dude. Can’t he pick up the phone if he wants to speak to you so badly? Why should you use your minutes for the call, especially if you don’t even know him that well? It’s crap when a guy makes you do things he’s too damn lazy to do himself and probably means he’s a freeloading jerks.
  8. He texts with real answers about his day. So you sent him a text asking how his day was and he replied with a really good answer, giving you details about his day and what he was up to. Now that’s the kind of guy who’s interested in having a real conversation and who’s willing to share his life with you.
  9. He double textsHe might be putting in a little too much effort and this can be seen with the dreaded double texts he sends. It’s like he’s worried you’re missing his texts or ignoring him, so he keeps pestering you. Ugh. Clingy, much?
  10. He texts in front of you. When you’re out with the guy, he regularly phubs you by taking other messages or calls. Um, what? Unless he’s a doctor on call, this is just plain rude. He’s not that interested; otherwise, he’d be focused on you and only you.
  11. He texts but doesn’t ask you out. Too much texting can sometimes be a bad thing. If he’s only interested in chatting loads via text but he never actually asks you out, then he’s clearly not interested in a relationship. He’s probably just texting when he’s bored or lonely, or because he enjoys the conversation but not enough to plan a date.
  12. He’s an emoji addict. They can be cute, but if he’s sending loads of emojis instead of words, they’re irritating AF. Clearly he’s got nothing interesting to say. What a boring guy.
  13. He texts TMI. He should be texting you info about himself, but he should also be asking about you. If he’s in the habit of sending you long texts detailing things about his life or problems, he probably needs a psychiatrist, not a girlfriend. It’s a sure sign that he’ll talk about himself ad nauseam if you get together. Delete and move on!
  14. He lets the conversation die. You ask him what he’s doing and he sends you an answer but then he doesn’t keep the conversation going. He’s clearly not that into chatting right now but instead of ending the conversation and saying goodnight, he just disappears. He might return in a few hours, asking something trivial like “What are you doing?” Ugh, it’s annoying. He’s just a bored boomerang texter who’s making minimal effort to stay in your thoughts.
  15. He doesn’t text — he callsHe might have texted you when you were first getting to know each other, but now he makes the effort to call you regularly. This is awesome because it shows that he’s keen to progress to a new level of intimacy. Now that’s a keeper.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.