Love can be a rollercoaster of emotions, often bringing as many disappointments as it does moments of joy. So, why do we find ourselves constantly drawn to it even when it feels like it seriously sucks? As crazy as it is, there is actually a reason we crave love.
1. It’s in Our Biological Wiring.
Our bodies and brains are hardwired to seek out connections, especially romantic ones. When we experience love or affection, our brains release a cocktail of hormones like oxytocin and dopamine. These hormones are responsible for the happiness and euphoria often associated with romantic encounters. It’s almost like nature’s way of encouraging human connections, ensuring that we keep seeking out those rewarding emotional bonds.
2. We All Want Someone to Share Pizza With.
At our core, we crave companionship. It’s not just about finding someone to date; it’s about having that person to share the highs and lows of life. This need for companionship drives us to seek out romantic relationships. Having someone to talk about your day with, to share your favorite movies or songs with, or just to be there when things get tough, fulfills a fundamental human desire to not journey through life alone.
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4. Love is basically Your Personal Bootcamp.
Engaging in romantic relationships is like undergoing a self-discovery process. It challenges us, pushes us out of our comfort zones, and often forces us to confront aspects of ourselves we might otherwise ignore. Relationships can teach us about our own needs, our patterns in interacting with others, and how we handle emotions like love, anger, and hurt. Each relationship, whether successful or not, is a learning experience that contributes to our personal growth.
5. Who Doesn’t Like a Little Thrill?
The excitement associated with romance and love is hard to replicate in other areas of life. The initial stages of attraction and getting to know someone are filled with anticipation and excitement. It’s the kind of rush that’s both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. This thrill, the butterflies in the stomach, the anxious waiting for a text or call – it’s addictive. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that many of us are drawn to time and again.
6. It’s about More Than Just a Plus-One.
The craving for deep, emotional connections goes beyond just having someone to go places with. It’s about finding that person who understands and shares your deepest thoughts and feelings. This kind of emotional intimacy forms the foundation of strong romantic relationships. It’s about being able to be your true self with someone and feeling accepted and understood. This emotional bond is often what people seek in love, as it provides a sense of security and belonging that’s hard to find elsewhere.
7. You’re holding out for a hero, to quote the great Pat Benetar.
Despite past heartaches or disappointments in love, there’s often a lingering sense of hope. It’s this optimism that leads us to believe that love can bring joy and fulfillment. This hope isn’t naive; it’s a powerful motivator that keeps us open to the possibility of love. It’s about believing that, despite the challenges, there’s someone out there who can be the right match, and that love can indeed be as wonderful as it’s portrayed to be.
8. You’re looking for Personal Validation.
There’s a certain validation that comes from being loved and desired. It can boost self-esteem and make one feel valued and important. This need for validation is a natural human emotion. Love and romantic attention can make us feel attractive, worthy, and appreciated, all of which are important for our overall sense of well-being.
9. You feel the Pull of Shared Experiences.
Sharing life’s journey with someone can add a layer of richness to experiences. From traveling together to sharing hobbies or just everyday moments, these shared experiences can create lasting memories and a strong bond. There’s something about experiencing the world through the lens of a relationship that makes things feel more vivid and meaningful.
10. You want your own personal Happy Ending.
Many of us are drawn to the idea of a happily ever after, and that makes us crave love like no other. It’s a desire for stability and lifelong companionship. The thought of growing old with someone, of building a life together, is appealing. It speaks to our deepest desires for love, security, and partnership. This vision of a happy, enduring relationship is a significant reason why we continue to seek out love, even after facing challenges or setbacks in our romantic lives.
11. Blame It on the Movies (and Books, and Songs).
Our culture is saturated with stories, songs, and films that glorify love and romance. These narratives often paint a picture of love as the ultimate goal, the key to happiness. This constant exposure can shape our expectations and desires regarding romance, making us yearn for our own storybook experiences. We grow up dreaming about that perfect love, influenced by the countless tales of romance we consume from a young age.
12. You’re on a Quest for Understanding and Being Understood.
One of the most compelling aspects of love is the deep-seated human desire to understand and be understood. In a romantic relationship, we look for someone who not only gets our quirks and habits but also understands our core values and beliefs. This mutual understanding fosters a profound connection that transcends surface-level interactions. It’s about finding someone who can see and appreciate the real you, with all your strengths and vulnerabilities. This mutual comprehension forms the basis of a strong, enduring relationship, where both partners feel seen, heard, and valued.
13. You want the Comfort of Consistent Companionship.
The consistent presence of a significant other offers a sense of comfort and stability that can be deeply reassuring. In a world where change is constant, having a partner who remains a steadfast part of your life provides a sense of continuity. This isn’t just about having a constant companion for social events or daily activities; it’s about the peace of mind that comes from knowing there’s someone who consistently has your back. This reliable presence, through ups and downs, joys and challenges, lends a comforting consistency to life that many find irresistible in love.
