Cliche “Couple” Things I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Doing

No matter how excited I get when I’m in a relationship and want to show it off, there are some things that legit make me want to throw up thinking about. I mean, I’m all for PDA and letting the world know I love my guy, but I can’t handle some couples that go the super cheesy route. To each their own, but there are a few things I wouldn’t be caught dead doing.

  1. Singing a romantic karaoke duet together I love karaoke no matter how terrible of a voice I have, but it almost makes me cringe when couples get up there and do a cheesy love song together. If I’m going to engage in a duet with my guy, I’m going to make sure we get the attention of the room and go for something completely unconventional or silly instead of singing “Love Will Keep Us Together” for the millionth time.
  2. Going on a picnic date I don’t care how cutesy it seems, picnics are kind of gross when you stop and think about it. Unless I’m up in the mountains camping, I don’t want dirt or sand in my food, I’m not wanting to be swatting flies away constantly or picking ants up off the blanket. I feel like an outdoor picnic seems good in theory but ultimately it’s just a mood killer. I’ll take an outdoor restaurant or my back porch over a blanket on the grass in a public place any day.
  3. Wearing matching outfits Unless it’s a high school dance or family photos, why on earth would I coordinate my outfit with my boyfriend? Part of the appeal of each of us is that we have our own, unique style. I’ll go as far as a couples Halloween costume or something along those lines but I’m not going to drag my guy out into public wearing a similar shirt or sweater. I just don’t find it flattering at all.
  4. Saying “we” instead of “I” It’s easy enough for me to lose myself when I become a couple, I don’t want to advertise it by not being able to show I have any of my own thoughts. We didn’t go to the store, he and I did. It seems adorable to some, but I just don’t understand. It seems more codependent to me and I really want to keep my own identity when I’m with another person and I want him to have the freedom to as well.
  5. Starting a love blog Okay, so I don’t know the technical term, but a lot of girls I know start relationship blogs when they get into a really serious relationship. I get if you have family far away that you want to share your life online, but sometimes reading the posts are too much. People tend to only post the good, so it almost makes their life seem too good to be true and that’s hard for others to live up to. When I see blogs like that, I subconsciously compare my relationship to theirs and that’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to go air my relationship drama online either so I just steer clear of the whole thing.
  6. Having a “Lady and the Tramp” moment This is probably the most romantic animal movie ever and though it’s extremely endearing to think of meeting in the middle of a noodle and getting a kiss…it’s actually kind of gross. Yes, I’ll swap spit with my guy all the time so I’m not entirely sure why this creeps me out so much but it does. Maybe because it’s overdone or because when I do hear or see people doing it, it almost always ends up comical, but I figure it’s something that I’m just going to avoid. I’ll eat my own dinner, thank you.
  7. Taking a candlelight bubble bath I’m all for water sports but a bath isn’t for getting yourself clean unless you’re under the age of maybe 10. I like to take relaxing baths on my own, but scrunching into a tub with my significant other doesn’t seem appealing. A hot tub or a big jetted tub is one thing but at home, I’m going to skip sitting in each other’s filth and opt for a sexy shower instead.
  8. Getting matching tattoos WHY ON EARTH DO PEOPLE DO THIS? Okay, some people actually do stay together after they permanently mark the other person’s name in ink on their body, but the chances of that are slim enough that it’s a risk I don’t want to take. I have tattoos and I have no issue with my guy them too but there’ll always be at least a small chance that we’ll break up and though someday I may come to find the mark endearing, I know at the beginning of the breakup it will be too painful of a reminder.
jordan is a writer from salt lake city who enjoys a good steak, her dog, and conversations about how radiohead is awesome. she hopes to be a talking head on some VH1 pop-culture show someday and can curate a playlist for any occasion. when she grows up she wants to be an olsen twin.