I Could Never Date A Religious Guy—I Need Someone More Open-Minded & Flexible

I’m a pretty free-spirited, hippie type of gal and I don’t really subscribe to traditional religious ideals. In fact, dating a guy who’s super into God sounds like my idea of hell (pun intended). Here’s why:

  1. I don’t believe that God is a separate entity. Religious people tend to believe that God is a Someone or Something that sits up in the clouds, guiding us and providing for us throughout our lives. While this is a nice thought and all, I like to live my life in a more empowering way. In my opinion, it’s kinda cheating to put all of your faith into something outside yourself. Sure, it’s not easy to walk around acting like God is within you (like I do), but it’s a lot more believable that God is us than that he’s some omnipotent being in charge of everything that happens in life.
  2. I only really get along with open-minded people. It’s hard for me to talk to religious people because they don’t like to argue and debate about things, especially when it comes to topics such as the meaning of life and where we come from. Everything eventually comes down to Jesus or God being the creator of everything (I’ve never read the Bible, so I don’t know), and it’s just hard to keep a conversation going with someone who can’t see past a certain point.
  3. He might have hangups about sex. Most religions consider sex to be shameful before marriage and even the guys who were raised religious and then rebel later on in life still have hangups surrounding sex. I see sex as this awesome, powerful act of intense connection, not something to hide or be ashamed of—or to save until we’ve exchanged vows in a church ceremony.
  4. I want a guy who thinks for himself. I’m usually attracted to the independent thinkers, the kinda guys who go against the fray. Nothing is more conformist than being a part of a religion. I understand that it provides a sense of community but to me, that’s where the buck stops. It can be dangerous to subscribe to any religion, especially earlier on in life when you don’t really know what the truth is. It can really mess people up down the road.
  5. I don’t like how religious people seem to be happy ALL the time. It’s honestly creepy that religious people have this unwavering faith in something they’ve never seen—God, Jesus, Krishna, whoever. It’s a great distraction from the crappy things that are happening in the world, but life can’t always be “fine” all the time just because you have faith that God will fix everything.
  6. I’d constantly be trying to un-convert them. I don’t think I would be able to last very long in a relationship with a religious guy for the sole reason that I wouldn’t be able to stop snickering under my breath when he talks about angels or going to hell or whatever strange stories he subscribes to. I would be nearly bursting at the seams with all the reasons why what he believes is impossible and I don’t wanna be “that guy” who has to put people down just because they think they’re right. Better to just stick to my own kind.
  7. They’re honestly kinda boring. Religious guys always seem to be fine with everything, whereas I’m definitely not. My life is dramatic and not every thought I think is pure and positive. Maybe it would make me happier to put my faith in God, but I can guarantee that it will make me a boring person.
  8. I like talking about spiritual stuff and I feel like our opinions would clash non-stop. I love talking about all that esoteric crap like aliens, dimensions, the universe, chakras, energy… all of that hippie-dippy stuff. So if I suggest that the human race was spawned out of a civilization from Mars, I don’t want to always have to argue against whatever the Bible says. I’d like to start a dialogue and explore the what-ifs of life. I’m all about the possibilities and am not so naive to think that I know the answers to everything, which is the kind of thinking that I find religious people to exercise.
  9. Religious people tend to be traditionalists and I’m the total opposite. Religious guys strike me as the type who live their lives in a very…regimented, organized way and I’m not like that at all. I’m more of a free-spirit and don’t really care about checking off my boxes. I’d rather just ride the wave of life and land wherever it takes me. There are no wrong answers.
  10. I don’t want to get married. Being religious often correlates with wanting to get married and having children and I don’t want either of those. I would get along WAY better with an Atheist or an Agnostic because there are no rules there. It’s the idea of living life the way YOU want, not the way the Bible says you should. I hate being told what to do and definitely don’t need any judgment from the person I’m dating.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.