If He’s Not This Kind Of Guy, He’s Not “Husband-Material”

If He’s Not This Kind Of Guy, He’s Not “Husband-Material”

Whether you’ve always been on the lookout for The One or you’ve just now gotten the itch to settle down, you might’ve found yourself scoping out guys who might make good husband material. The problem, though, is that when you’re desperate to find a spouse, a lot of unworthy guys might make you hear wedding bells. Quit your search for any old husband and instead focus on dating guys who have qualities that make them worthy of a lifetime love.

  1. Someone who makes you laugh Without laughter, you have nothing. You want a partner who takes life seriously, but also has a sharp wit to keep it entertaining. Whether your boyfriend-to-be has a dry sense of humor, or really enjoys “dad jokes” before fatherhood is even a reality, as long as it’s compatible with your sense of humor, you’re good.
  2. Someone who knows what they want out of life Again, no pressure. But if you know you want kids, you shouldn’t really spend the time getting serious with someone who’s on the fence about it. While you’ll never have everything figured out (nor should you, as uncertainty helps make life fun) you should definitely have a solid blueprint at this point. If you want to find a compatible partner, you’ve got to make sure your basic wants are lined up.
  3. Someone who doesn’t mind staying in I’m talking about the guy who’d be cool in a big social situation, but secretly just loves watching TV at home. The older we get, the more priorities change. While you’re never too old to hit up the bar scene, you probably just don’t have the stamina to go out as much as you did when you were 21. You need someone you can stay at home and hang out with when the outside world gets to be too much.
  4. Someone who understands the importance of family Some people just aren’t family-oriented, and that’s okay. But if you were initially looking for a husband to start up a family with, you obviously want to find someone who knows how important a strong and supportive family is.
  5. Someone who has a stable friend group If your guy has the same friends that he did in high school and college, it proves two things — one, he’s capable of holding long-lasting relationships. And two, since he’s held onto the same group, he’s probably a likable guy. If nobody did a friendship-fade on him, he’s probably in their lives for a good reason.
  6. Someone who appreciates your interests Nothing is worse than someone who latches onto everything their partner loves. If you want an adult relationship, you won’t be afraid to tell this guy your likes and dislikes… even if you think they’re a little dorky. Take pride in yourself — the guy who loves you for who you are is the real keeper.
  7. Someone who isn’t afraid to dive into the heavy topics It’s generally seen as a dating faux pas to suddenly launch into the topic of kids and marriage by the third date. But if that’s eventually what you’re looking for, your guy will appreciate your honesty. If he’s scared off in this case, it wasn’t meant to be. Just make sure you word it as “I’m hoping to get married,” and not “I want to get married to you.” It’s all in the phrasing.
  8. Someone who isn’t afraid to tell you how they feel The best relationships are two-way streets. While you should feel comfortable talking to him about what you want, he should feel equally comfortable talking to you. Really, you need to find someone who’ll treat you the way he’d hope to be treated and vice versa. If this whole thing does lead to marriage someday, you’ll be so glad you did.
  9. Someone who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty Stopped up sinks? Stinky garbage? A cat litter box? Adulthood has a bunch of smelly situations involved — situations that, ideally, you’ll both tackle together. By not being afraid to dive into the dirty work, you know you’ve found someone who’s willing to do what it takes to get the job done. Plus, if kids enter the picture, you know he won’t run away from diaper duty.
  10. Someone who doesn’t expect you to change You might have dated an jerk in high school who made you feel the need to lose ten pounds. Don’t forget that guy in college who made it clear that he preferred brunettes. As time went on, you realized that you are who you are. So don’t waste any energy on someone who still tries to nitpick. You need to settle down with someone who can’t wait to watch you age gracefully.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has written for sites like LittleThings, Bustle, and Scary Mommy. When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz