Why It’s OK To Come On Too Strong

When is being assertive a good thing? If you ask me, just about always — and that ringing endorsement holds for flirting and dating, too. Forget the warnings about coming on too strong; they’re outdated and based on gender stereotypes that just don’t fly anymore. For the modern woman, coming on too strong can be your best bet in many instances. Here’s why:

  1. Your time is precious, so you just want to get on with it already. You could text back and forth for weeks, or you could just throw a time and place out there and see if he wants to move this thing forward already.
  2. When it comes to putting yourself out there, practice makes perfect. Yes, you might get rejected and you might rub someone the wrong way if he thinks you’re being too aggressive. But the more you practice, the more you’ll be able to strike the delicate balance between making your preferences known and seeming a little bit too intense.
  3. It’s better to be rejected than to be left wondering “what if?” No matter what, you won’t be any worse off than if you didn’t try. Ever seen the Craigslist “Missed Connections” board? It’s the saddest thing ever. Don’t be one of those people. Roll the dice instead.
  4. Sometimes he just needs a clear signal before he makes a move. He’s pretty sure you’ve been smiling at him across the room, but what if he was mistaken? He doesn’t want to feel like an idiot. If you’re more direct and straightforward, you can give him a chance to take you up on your interest without worrying that he’ll be giving you unwanted attention.
  5. If he’s on the fence about you, your boldness may just convince him to give it a shot. Let’s be honest: men can be lazy sometimes, and starting something new takes a lot of effort. So if they already know for certain that a woman is interested, that’s half of the battle. They’ll be more willing to invest the time getting to know you better if they’re already sure that they’ve passed your initial tests.
  6. It’s never a bad thing to be a woman who knows what she wants. The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want. The obvious next step is to go after it.
  7. You’re sick and tired of playing games. 2016 is all set to be the year that political correctness died a sudden death. So why speak in code and go back and forth trying to decipher whether or not the other is interested? It’s time to stop playing games. Being direct is more effective and rewarding for everyone involved.
  8. Even if he’s not interested, you gain more by being upfront. If you tell him exactly what you’re looking for at the moment, you’ll find out sooner if he can or can’t give that to you. Otherwise, you could find yourself in non-relationship limbo for way too long. You’re better off setting expectations early.
Jessica Levy is a freelance blogger and content writer. She’s also a politics junkie, a fledgling foodie, and a frequent traveler. She has lived in Morocco, Israel, India, and Barbados, and never wants to be cold again. Follow her on Twitter!