If One More Person Asks Me Why I’m Single, I’m Going To Scream

I’m not in a relationship and not only am I cool with that, I hate how obsessed people I barely even know seem to be with my single status. I swear if one more person asks me why I’m rolling solo, I’m going to lose my damn mind.

“You don’t like dating?” More often than not, after a person asks why I’m single, this is the follow-up. Even more than I dislike the question, I dislike the assumptions that are attached to it. It’s like every time someone asks me why I’m single, they’re assuming it’s because there’s some sort of further explanation and it feels intrusive.

I’m sick of being judged for not having a boyfriend. I sometimes feel like I’m never judged more than when people ask me if I’m single and my response is “yes.” Why is it that society nowadays seems to judge people more harshly if they aren’t romantically involved with another human at the moment? It’s exhausting and ridiculous when people define me by my relationship status (or lack thereof). I certainly don’t define myself by it.

I’m not single on purpose. I’m not exactly shouting with joy from the top of a mountain about the fact that I’m single, but I’m not upset about it either… until someone asks me why. I don’t have an answer. The truth is, I’m not purposely separating myself from finding love, it just hasn’t happened yet.

I’m happy and fulfilled regardless. Are we really only allowed to be whole and content if we have a partner? There seems to be such a stigma attached to being on your own, even in 2017, and I really don’t get it. I’d much rather roll solo than couple up for the sake of not having to answer this uncomfortable question.

Yes, I get lonely, but so do people in relationships.  I’d like to know what gives people the audacity to ask such personal questions and what they’re trying to achieve by it. Yes, I might be lonely sometimes, but walking around crying about it isn’t quite changing my relationship status, so people need to lay off. It’s hard not to get defensive when people are on your case about it.

Being single isn’t some kind of disorder. Why does being single equal an issue? Every time I’m asked the reason I’m single, it triggers a defense mechanism that wants to retort that it’s not a disorder, it’s just a social title. It sometimes feels as though the person posing the question is looking to diagnose me with a disorder that doesn’t exist. WTF?

“But you’re such a great catch!” Look, I appreciate the “compliment” but frankly, I really don’t want to hear it. I would like to give the type of person feeding me this line the benefit of the doubt because they’re probably trying to give me hope and encouragement, but it’s honestly falling on dead ears. I think I’m a good catch too, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to miraculously be snatched up by my Prince Charming.

It’s none of anyone else’s business. Last time I checked, I wasn’t a cast member on a dating reality show. I showed up to a wedding alone, big deal. That doesn’t give anyone the permission to start nosing in on my dating life and probe around for reasons as to why I’m single anyway. It feels invasive and sometimes it’s downright humiliating. Is it socially acceptable to start responding to this question with, “It’s none of your business,” or is that too much? Asking for a friend.

No, I don’t want to date your grandson’s best friend’s ex. Another thing that makes me want to pull my hair out after being asked this question is when the person tries to play matchmaker. No, I don’t want to go on a blind date with someone else’s leftovers just because you pity my loneliness. My singleness doesn’t make me a charity case, so I wish they’d please stop trying to offer their assistance in changing my future relationship status. I’ll find my own dates when the time is right.

I really don’t feel like talking about it. Can we change the subject? There are so many more things going on in my life that I’m happy to share. The focus doesn’t have to be on whether or not I have a partner. There’s so much more to me than that.

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