I’m Over Bad Boys & Players—”Boring” Loyal Guys Are Where It’s At

These days, single guys tend to fall into one of two categories: the player who treats you like garbage or the “boring” loyal guy. These days, I’m living for the latter. Here’s why—and why you should consider doing the same.

  1. Players are seriously overrated. Sure, everybody seems to love a bad boy, but are they seriously as amazing as everyone makes out? All they do is date you for a little while, promise you the world, and then disappear all of a sudden when something better comes along. I’m not down for that. The temporary excitement isn’t worth the long-term disappointment.
  2. You can never change a player and his ways. Every woman who dates a player does it because they love the idea of being the one that’s able to change him and his terrible ways. Newsflash: this is never going to happen. Bad boys and players are who they are; you can try to fix them until you’re blue in the face and they’ll still be the same a-holes they were when you started. You might as well not waste your time or energy.
  3. Players are no longer seen as cool. There was a time where you were perceived as being really cool and “living life on the edge” if you dated a bad boy. Nowadays, bad boys are known as “fuckboys” for a reason. They essentially mess you around until you get tired of their lies, excuses, and generally crappy behavior, finally see sense and end things with them.
  4. The toxic guys never work out. I hate to break it to you, but you’re never going to make the bad boy or the player your husband. I mean, I’m sure there’s one case in a billion where he sees the errors of his ways and changes for the person he truly loves, but the chances of that happening are slim so you might as well accept that dating a toxic guy is only going to crash and burn.
  5. Crappy guys have too many opportunities these days. You do realize that today’s players are even worse than the traditional bad boys, right? It’s mainly because they’re overwhelmed with choice nowadays thanks to dating sites and apps, which allow them to swipe left or right with a flick of a finger. There’s no chase, there’s no effort required, and there’s always a new potential romance to be found almost instantly. This makes players behave even worse than they did before and it shouldn’t be tolerated.
  6. Why would you actively pursue someone who’s bad for youI just don’t understand why people actively pursue self-professed players. Sure, sometimes you get duped by a guy who seems decent but ends up being a total piece of crapy—you didn’t know so you can’t be blamed. However, if you date a guy knowing that they screw over other people and seem perfectly happy doing so, you really can’t blame anyone but yourself when you become his next victim.
  7. It’s important to follow your heart but use your head. In the world of love, the principle of dating is simple: follow your heart but make sure that you use your head. In other words, allow your feelings to take the lead, but don’t let them take over in situations where you deserve better. The prime example of one of these types of situations is continuing to date a jerk who treats you like crap. You deserve better.
  8. Loyal guys are underrated. Just as much as dating a player is overrated, dating a loyal guy is the same amount of underrated. I mean, who wouldn’t want a guy who treats you like a queen? Who doesn’t want a guy who sticks by your side when he says he will and shows how much he’s interested in you on a daily basis? If you want to be with a bad boy, expect bad treatment. And if you’re happy to be treated badly, then ask yourself why you’d want to put yourself through all of that.
  9. We accept the love that we think we deserve. Good old Stephen Chbosky really knows his stuff. We allow people to treat us in a certain way depending on our perception of ourselves. It’s about time we all started aiming higher, because those who settle for something less than amazing are setting a poor standard for the rest of us.
  10. If loyal guys are considered “boring” then I’m all for it. I don’t care that loyal guys are considered boring. I’d much rather have a “boring” guy any day and be treated well than settle for the alternative of having a bad boy who messes with my head and my heart—and so should you. I mean, it really is a no-brainer.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.