Intimate partner violence and even homicide isn’t as uncommon as you might think. The Bureau of Justice Statistics revealed that in 2021 alone, 34% of female murder victims were by an intimate partner. Men don’t get off entirely scot-free, either — 6% of male murder victims were killed by their partners. While thankfully, such horrific acts are. not commonplace, but a psychologist has revealed which qualities to look for in people who are more likely to take their partner’s life.
Australia is seeing a huge uptick in women being killed by their partners.
In the past 10 days alone, six women have been killed, five of which lost their lives at the hands of the men they were in relationships with.
The murder of a woman named Lilie James at the St. Andrew’s Cathedral School particularly affected people, with a conversation about violence against women by men in the country coming to the forefront.
Now, criminal psychologist Tim Watson-Munro is revealing the warning signs women should look for in the men they date.
Love bombing is the biggest red flag.
In an article for News.com.au, Watson-Munro said that love bombing — the act of coming on hard and strong and claiming to be head over heels before you even know the other person — should be taken very seriously. Rather than being seen as flattering, it should be creepy and unsettling. (This isn’t exactly new — the UK even deemed love bombing a sign of abuse recently.)
“Upon meeting their prospective partner, the woman is showered with affection, gifts and intense attention. Whilst this may be flattering, it may well also signal more insidious psychological forces operating within the male,” he wrote.
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Men like this often become controlling.
People who move fast in relationships tend to do so that they can get to a place where they can more easily control their partner, even if they’re doing so in an underhanded way.
“This may include coercive control, where the male insists on knowing his partner’s whereabouts, attempts to block ongoing relationships with family and close friends, and demands increasing exclusive time,” Watson-Munro explained.
“Objections to this are met with emotional withdrawal such as silent treatment, denigration attacking a person’s self-esteem and eventually, an escalating pattern of violence which may involve breaking furniture, artefacts and then assaulting the victim.”
Gaslighting is another red flag.
If you’ve ever been a victim of gaslighting, you know just how toxic this can be. It makes you wonder whether you’re overreacting and forces you to question your grip on reality, making you more vulnerable to manipulation.
The male partner having an issue with drugs and/or alcohol is also seen as a red flag, as addiction can cloud judgment and make it harder to think and act logically.
While intimate partner violence is complex, there are some things to be learned here.
As Watson-Munro clarified, not all killers are identical, but when put side by side, it’s easy to see the similarities.
“The dynamics surrounding domestic murder are multifactorial and complex. As a criminal psychologist, I have examined and reported upon many offenders who have killed their partners and it is clear that they possess a number of common, persistent personality traits,” he wrote.
