I’m Really Into Feminine Guys — They’re So Much Hotter Than Masculine Men

I’ve always been attracted to feminine guys for as long as I can remember. There’s something about them that makes me feel all warm inside. While pretty much all straight women I know are looking for a burly lumberjack type, I’m after the complete opposite. I don’t think I’ve ever dated a stereotypically “masculine” man and I think I want to keep it that way.

For the record, I’m aware that gendered qualities are often learned and that cooking doesn’t make a man feminine any more than fixing cars makes a woman masculine. However, when I say I’m attracted to feminine men, I’m talking about men with qualities typically associated with women like emotional intelligence, sensitivity, and “softness.” I find those things hot!

  1. They’re less likely to hurt me. For some reason, I get intimidated by “manly men.” Who knows why? Maybe it’s because I was bullied in kindergarten or maybe it’s because my dad is a very intimidating, scary kinda guy. Either way, I always find myself gravitating towards the softer, more sensitive types of guys and it’s probably because a part of me knows that I’ll be safer with them.
  2. They actually listen to me when I talk. Feminine men are usually more intuitive and sensitive to other people’s feelings, so if there’s something wrong, I can depend on them to listen to whatever’s bothering me and help me figure it out. They’re the type of guys who could be therapists, professors, or authors. They’re interested in the deeper aspects of life and I really appreciate that trait in a partner.
  3. We have more in common. I’m an artistic, creative type of person and I find that artistic men are also more on the feminine side. I think that because I value creativity both in myself and others, I always seem to end up with these effeminate, artsy guys and I’m totally fine with it. This way, I can still do the things I like to do like go see plays, visit museums and go to poetry readings and not be afraid that I’m boring him.
  4. They respect women. I never have to worry about getting offended or treated badly by a feminine man because they’re usually a lot more caring, kind, and sensitive to women in general. They don’t put women down in order to keep their delicate masculinity intact—there are more important things to think about.
  5. I’m highly emotional. I’m a VERY sensitive person. I cry over pretty much everything, therefore I tend to attract the type of guys who are more of the nurturing, feminine type. I kinda need a partner who’s this way, otherwise, my relationships end up being a little too stressful to handle.
  6. The relationship is more satisfying, in a holistic way. I find that when I’m dating a feminine guy, I have a best friend, a life partner, and a lover all in one. It’s not just a one-sided relationship where I’m the one who follows and he’s the one who leads. It’s the type of relationship where we’re both constantly exploring different sides of ourselves and aren’t just using each other to fulfill our egos. If I feel like leading in an activity, I can and if he feels like it, he can. We’re not just living in black and white.
  7. They’re usually better in bed. I find feminine men to be more open to trying new things in bed that super masculine dudes might be too insecure about, such as using toys and doing kinky stuff in general. Masculine men tend to be afraid of getting upstaged or seeming gay, whereas feminine guys feel totally okay with putting themselves in compromising positions in bed. This makes for a WAY better sex life that never gets boring.
  8. They’re pro-feminism. One of the most important traits in a man nowadays is that they support the feminist movement. I find manly men to be the most insecure about voicing their opinions on the matter. Nothing turns me on more than a guy who stands up for women’s rights. It’s a sign of intelligence and owning one’s social responsibility. It’s just so hot.
  9. They’re cuter. I’m usually more attracted to guys who are cute in an approachable way rather than hot guys with washboard abs. Feminine guys are like cuddly, cute teddies who wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’d rather be with someone like that than some gym bro with massive muscles.
  10. They’re good at solving problems. Feminine men tend to be more intelligent than their hyper-masculine counterparts. It could be that since they were never really into sports, they turned their focus towards things like reading, writing, and art, making them really good at seeing the big picture of life. Whenever there’s a problem that comes up in the relationship, they don’t just ignore it or get angry about it, they actually WANT to talk it through and figure it out. This is why feminine guys make the best long-term boyfriends, in my eyes.
  11. They’re more confident in themselves. I would argue that feminine guys are more confident than manly men because they aren’t trying overcompensate for their lack of masculinity. They’re okay with it. If they weren’t, I probably wouldn’t be either. They accept that no guy can ever be 100% masculine. They’re comfortable in just being themselves and nothing’s more attractive than that.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.