When you first start dating someone, it can feel like such a romantic whirlwind. You don’t exactly have your head on straight so you tend to ignore the red flags a guy is waving wildly. Unfortunately, not all guys are relationship material. It’s time to weed out the commitment-phobes fast and move on to better prospects if he’s showing you these signs.
- He doesn’t introduce you to his friends. A guy who tries to keep your relationship a secret is not a guy you need to be dating. Meeting each other’s friends is something that should happen at the beginning of a relationship. You probably want all your BFFs to meet the new guy you’re dating and he should feel the same. If he’s always making excuses for not introducing you to them or backing out of plans to avoid it, that’s a red flag. He likely has something to hide and doesn’t want his friends to reveal something they shouldn’t. Or, he could be ashamed of you, in which case you need to run. Fast.
- He takes forever to call or text back. It’s 2019. Everyone has their phone on them at all times. Sure, if you’re working, sometimes it’s hard to get to your phone right away. But if he’s taking days to get back to you, something is up. He’s either around someone who he doesn’t want to know he’s talking to you or he just isn’t making you a priority. Texting is so simple. There’s no excuse to leave you hanging that long. A guy who really, truly likes you would never ignore your texts.
- He won’t follow you on social media or let you follow him. Social media can cause some relationship issues for couples, yes, but it usually happens when someone is acting shady. If he doesn’t want to add you on social media, that means he’s doing something he doesn’t want you to see. If he’s trying to hide his relationship with you, he might not want to run the risk of you commenting on his pictures and revealing your relationship. There’s no reason to keep your social media hidden.
- He doesn’t take you out on dates. Dates don’t need to be extravagant but they do need to be thoughtful. If all he ever wants to do is hang out at your place or his to watch a movie, that’s a red flag. It doesn’t cost a lot of money to go on a hike. Pizza is cheap. There are plenty of inexpensive dating ideas he can do if he claims he’s short on cash. By not taking you out on dates, he’s telling you one of two things (or both): he wants to keep your relationship a secret or he doesn’t care enough about you to put in any effort.
- He flirts with other girls in front of you. A guy who doesn’t want to commit will sometimes go out of his way to show that to you. If he’s flirtatious with other women in front of you, that’s a huge sign that something is up. Any guy who is interested in dating you will make you feel like you’re the only woman in the room. He won’t want to give you the impression he’s into anyone else.
- He doesn’t ask you a lot of questions about yourself. When you start dating someone, you want to learn everything about them. A guy who isn’t boyfriend material won’t really care to get to know you. If he likes to talk about himself a lot without asking you any questions about yourself, it’s time to say goodbye. If he’s not interested in you now, he won’t be interested later.
- He has no ambition for his life. You’re a strong, independent woman. You don’t need a boyfriend that you have to take care of. If you’re seeing a guy who is in a dead-end job or lives with his parents and shows no sign of doing better for himself, get rid of him. In some cases, he might just be in a transitionary period, but if he isn’t making an effort to find a new job or live on his own, then there’s no need to waste your time. You need a man with ambition.
- He doesn’t show affection. And no, physical intimacy doesn’t count. If the only way you feel any connection or intimacy with him is through love-making, that’s not OK. A guy who likes you will want to show you affection, whether you’re in public or are in private. He doesn’t have to be overly affectionate with PDA, but a simple hand holding and peck on the lips will show he cares. You don’t have to settle for someone who doesn’t want to take the time to give you the attention you deserve.
- He’s blase about relationship titles. You don’t need a guy to call you his girlfriend after two dates, but if it’s months down the line and he’s still shirking the DTR talk or refusing to call you his girlfriend, there’s a serious problem that you shouldn’t ignore. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, don’t stay with a guy who clearly isn’t on the same page.
You’re an amazing woman with so much to offer the world and to the person lucky enough to date you. Don’t waste all those wonderful qualities on someone who’s incapable of appreciating them. Walk away now and keep living your amazing life until the right person comes along.