It’s easy to confuse being nice with being a pushover or doormat. But, there are some crucial differences. When you’re nice to others, you’re polite and you treat them with respect. If you’re a pushover, you allow others to disrespect you by taking advantage of your kindness. It’s not on! Here are 11 behaviors to push aside so you stop being seen as a pushover. Enough is enough!
1. Being Too Quick To Say Sorry.
Are you always the person who apologizes to everyone in your life, even when you’re not in the wrong? While you might think this is nice, it’s actually a way of putting yourself down and reveals a lack of confidence. To manipulative people, this is a clear entry sign for them to take advantage of you. They think they can do anything wrong and you’ll always be the one to apologize. SMH.
2. Saying Yes All The Time.
If you’re saying “yes” to outings you don’t want to attend or when asked to do favors for people, your heart’s in the right place but you’re putting your needs on the back-burner. That’s not fair to you! It also backfires because, while you might think people are viewing you as being kind and nice, they’re actually viewing you as having no boundaries or self-respect.
3. Making Excuses For Others.
Being nice and tolerant of other people’s choices is a good thing, but in extreme cases you might find yourself making excuses for others’ bad behavior. So, if your BF keeps making excuses for why they don’t want to have relationship labels, and you just accept them, you’re being too nice. Enough with that! Ask yourself something you never do: What do you want?
4. Biting Your Tongue Until It Bleeds.
If you’re a pushover, you’ll be keeping your feelings to yourself a lot. This could cause you to bite your tongue instead of saying what’s on your mind, perhaps to keep the peace in your relationships. But the problem is that you don’t get to share your opinions and feelings, and it can cause more conflict down the line.
5. Saying “It’s Okay!” When It’s Not.
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Your super-niceness might cause you to not want to hurt other people’s feelings. So, if your BF disrespects you and then says sorry, you might say, “It’s okay!” But, don’t brush off what other people have done. Let them know how their behavior has made you feel so you can gain real closure. It’s not rude – it’s a way for you to be honest and have healthier relationships.
6. Putting Yourself Down.
If you’re a pushover, you prioritize other people’s needs. In extreme cases, you might feel awkward or uncomfortable when you’re in the spotlight. To deal with this, you might try to downplay your achievements and happiness so you don’t hog the spotlight. Enough with putting yourself down! Without being braggy, share what you want to celebrate with others.
7. Being A Drama Receiver.
Do you find that you’re being dumped with other people’s drama all the time? If you’re always saying “yes” to others, it’s only a matter of time that people will call you when they need a favor or they’ll want advice late at night ’cause they know you’re there for them and don’t care about your sleep. Over time, you’ll feel drained.
8. Letting Others Cross Your Boundaries.
Being nice to others all the time can cause them to try to cross your boundaries, like if they try to push you to do things you don’t want to. As a pushover, you’ll allow people to do this, even if you try to say “no.” They’ll get the message that your boundaries don’t matter, so they can persuade you to do whatever they like and always get their way.
9. Seeking Validation From Others.
If you’re in the habit of putting others’ needs ahead of yours, you’ll become dependant on their opinions of you and make these more important than your own thoughts. This is risky, especially if you’re dealing with people who have bad intentions, plus it will dent your self-esteem. Start focusing on what you think about yourself, as this is what matters the most.
10. Losing Confidence Quickly.
You might experience a loss of confidence at times, such as when making a big decision in life. This can happen because you need others’ validation. If you don’t get it, you’ll be filled with self-doubt and second-guess your decisions, which can prevent you from taking exciting opportunities.
11. Letting Others Choose For You.
If you’ve got pushover tendencies, you might let others choose things for you, from what you and your friend do when hanging out to where you and your BF live so you can follow him on his great adventure. Geez. The result? You go with the flow that other people set and you don’t choose your own opinions or ideas. In fact, you shut them down out of a fear of rocking the boat.
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