Clear Signs He’s Fighting His Feelings For You, For Whatever Reason

There’s a guy you hang around with who’s great. You’re good friends, but you get a feeling he may want to be more. However, it’s hard to tell because he never actually says anything about it or makes a move. How do you know where you stand? Keep your eyes peeled for these signs he’s fighting his feelings for you but they’re definitely there.

Why would he not want to be into you?

Usually, when you like someone, you want nothing more than to act on those feelings and potentially get into a relationship. You want to be around them 24/7. You start to flirt a bit more and might even find the courage to ask them out on a date. In a perfect world, the other person feels the same and you

However, not everyone embraces romantic interest when it pops up. Sometimes it’s because of deep-seated issues they have, like a fear of intimacy or an aversion to commitment. Sometimes it’s for more noble reasons, like that they know they’re only interested in something casual and don’t want to hurt you. Other times, it’s because they’re already in a relationship or you are. In that case, the guy or girl in question might try and push down their feelings for you because they can never be acted upon.

Signs he’s fighting his feelings for you

  1. You often catch him looking at you but he immediately averts his gaze. No one gazes at someone longingly from across the room if there isn’t something more there. If you catch him staring and he immediately goes bright red and looks literally anywhere else, that’s one of the biggest signs he’s fighting his feelings for you. He’s embarrassed that you caught him and probably wishes the room would swallow him up.
  2. He’s all over your social media. Friends big each other up on Instagram and everything, sure. But, if it seems like he’s there to put the heart eyes emoji to your every selfie or keeps tagging you in memes, it seems a bit more than friendly. It’s his way of being flirty without being very direct about it.
  3. He’s very hot and cold with you. One day he’s obsessed with you and wants to chat 24/7. The next he seems totally pissed off and like he can’t stand you. This is because he doesn’t want to like you as much as he does. It makes him moody and frustrated and he takes that out on you. It’s not fair, but it does make sense.
  4. He’s weirdly jealous when you’re talking to other guys. This is one of the biggest signs he’s fighting his feelings for you. He’s not with you and he hasn’t even told you he likes you. However, he can’t stand when other guys try to talk to you. Whether he gets pouty whenever you talk about your boyfriend or he bad mouths any man you go on a date with, he’s got issues. He doesn’t want anyone else to have you even if he can’t.
  5. He gets really awkward around you. He’s a really confident, well-spoken guy, but sometimes he loses all his cool when you’re together. He trips over his words, makes weird jokes that make no sense, and generally seems… off. It’s probably endearing if you like him too, but it is odd to witness.
  6. He jokes about dating you/you being in a relationship. These “jokes” might be totally harmless and mean nothing if they’re only occasion. However, if he’s always playing around by talking about being your boyfriend or you being his girlfriend, there’s something there. They say there’s a kernel of truth to every joke, don’t they?
  7. He always wants to “hang out.” Yes, friends spend time together, but being attached at the hip is usually reserved for people in a romantic relationship. You know he has a pretty solid social group, goes to the gym a lot, and has a busy job. Somehow, he still always has time for you.
  8. He wants to know everything about you and your life. It’s natural to want to know more about your friends, but asking about your childhood or delving into the tiniest details of your life shows a deeper interest. He knows he shouldn’t go there really, but he’s too intrigued by you not to ask.
  9. He goes out of his way to paint himself in a more attractive light. Yet another of the biggest signs he’s fighting his feelings for you. He doesn’t brag exactly, but he does exaggerate a bit to make himself seem more desirable. He finds ways to slip in what a catch he’d be as a boyfriend, hoping you’ll pick up on what he’s putting down.
  10. He always seems nervous when you’re together. This sometimes translates in the above awkwardness. His eyes dart all around the room, his hands get a little clammy, and he laughs a lot for no reason. You obviously put him on edge because he’s so into you and he doesn’t know what to do about it.
  11. Sometimes he avoids you for no reason. While you might assume he’s doing this because you’ve done something wrong or he suddenly doesn’t like you, that’s likely not the case. When he senses his feelings for you getting too out of hand, he might pull away to try and regain his equilibrium before picking up where you left off. As friends, of course. Right?

What you can do about it if you’re interested too

  1. Flirt a little bit. If he’s not already in a relationship and you’re into him, flirt. It’s possible that he’s fighting his feelings for you because he’s afraid he’ll be rejected. By throwing a flirty comment his way or changing your body language around him, it could encourage him to take the initiative to make a move.
  2. Make your interest clear. Guys can be a bit thick sometimes. This means that your flirting may not be enough. He might assume that you’re just being friendly. In this case, you need to be more explicit. It’s the 21st century. There’s no reason women can’t make the first move. Tell him straight up that you like him and want to do something about it.
  3. Ask him out yourself. This is the next natural step. You flirt, you tell him you like him, and now it’s time to put it all into practice. Ask him on a date and go explore your possible romantic connection. You never know what you might discover.
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.