Jealousy shouldn’t be a thing, but it is.
In a perfect world, we’d all realize that there’s enough good stuff to go around and we’d be genuinely happy for other people when they come across a bit of it. Unfortunately, life doesn’t really work that way. It can be tough to accept when someone else has something that you want, especially if you’ve been trying to get it for a long time. This could be a specific position at work, a romantic partner, or even something material like a fancy bag or shoes. When someone covets something you have that they lack, the signs that they’re jealous aren’t far behind.
Being on the receiving end of someone else’s jealousy is often really upsetting. Because they treat you like crap due to their own insecurities, you’re often left wondering what you did wrong and if you’re a bad person. The issue is entirely theirs, of course, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
Not sure if someone envies you? Here are some things to look out for.
1. They’re constantly criticizing you.
When someone is secretly jealous of you, they might seem overly critical of your actions and decisions. For instance, they might point out flaws in your appearance, work, or personal life. This excessive criticism is often rooted in their envy and the need to bring you down a notch. Talk about a hater!
2. They give you backhanded compliments.
People who are secretly envious may disguise their jealousy with backhanded compliments. These are compliments that sound positive on the surface but carry a hidden insult or mockery. For example, they might say, “You’re so lucky you can eat whatever you want and still stay slim,” implying that you don’t deserve your good fortune.
3. They’re in constant competition with you.
Jealous individuals may become unusually competitive with you, even in situations where there’s no reason for rivalry. They may constantly compare their achievements to yours or try to outdo you, often to prove their worth or superiority.
4. They always try to sabotage your success.
When someone is secretly envious, they may subtly undermine your accomplishments or opportunities. This can include spreading rumors, giving you false information, or conveniently forgetting to support your endeavors, all to hinder your progress.
5. They regularly ignore or exclude you to make you feel like the odd (wo)man out.
Jealousy can lead people to exclude or ignore you in social settings. They may feel threatened by your presence and deliberately leave you out of gatherings or conversations, making you feel isolated or unimportant.
6. They copy your style or ideas.
Some jealous individuals may try to imitate your fashion sense, hobbies, or ideas to gain recognition or admiration for themselves. This mimicking is often a sign that they’re envious of your originality or creativity.
7. They act really passive-aggressive towards you.
People who secretly envy you may resort to passive-aggressive behavior. They might make snide remarks, use sarcasm, or give you the silent treatment to express their resentment indirectly.
8. They exaggerate their achievements when you’re around.
In an attempt to one-up you, jealous individuals might exaggerate their own achievements or experiences. They may fabricate stories or accomplishments to make themselves appear more successful than they actually are.
9. They’re always seeking validation from you.
Those harboring jealousy may frequently seek validation or approval from you. They want your acknowledgment to feel better about themselves or to confirm that they are on par with you.
10. They gossip about you often.
Jealousy can lead to gossip and spreading rumors about you behind your back. This is an attempt to tarnish your reputation and diminish your standing among others. If they can’t keep your name out of their mouth and you seem to be living in their minds rent-free, this is one of the big signs they’re jealous of you.
11. They hit you with excessive flattery.
Sometimes, people mask their jealousy with excessive compliments and flattery. They may shower you with praise in an insincere way, hoping to gain your favor or make themselves feel better by association.
12. They’re constantly comparing themself to you.
Jealous individuals frequently compare themselves to you in various aspects of life, such as looks, achievements, or possessions. This constant measuring against you can indicate their underlying envy.
13. They try to undermine your relationships.
Secretly jealous people might attempt to create rifts in your personal relationships. They may gossip about your friends or significant other or try to sow discord to isolate you and diminish your support network.
14. They’re all about passive resistance.
When asked for help or cooperation, a person harboring jealousy may display passive resistance. They may drag their feet, conveniently forget their commitments, or make excuses to avoid assisting you, all to hinder your progress.
15. Humblebragging is their thing.
Jealous individuals might use humblebrags as a way to downplay your achievements while drawing attention to their own. For example, they might say, “I wish I had your free time; I’m always so busy with important things.”
16. They’re hostile to you for no apparent reason.
Some people, when consumed by jealousy, display unwarranted hostility towards you. They may pick fights, provoke arguments, or use aggressive language to mask their insecurity and resentment. This is one of the biggest signs someone is secretly jealous of you. Why can’t they just chill out?
17. They outright ignore your successes and achievements.
Jealousy can lead people to ignore or downplay your successes. Instead of celebrating your achievements, they may act indifferent, change the subject, or make dismissive comments to belittle your accomplishments.
18. They mock your goals.
Those secretly envious may mock your aspirations and dreams. They might say your goals are unrealistic or imply that you’re wasting your time pursuing them, attempting to dampen your enthusiasm.
19. They stalk you on social media.
Jealousy can manifest through excessive monitoring of your social media profiles. They may scrutinize your posts, comments, and likes to stay updated on your life and find opportunities to criticize or feel superior.
20. They pretend to be indifferent towards you when you know they’re not.
To hide their jealousy, some individuals may act disinterested in your life or achievements. They’ll pretend that what you’re doing doesn’t matter to them, even though it secretly bothers them. This facade of indifference is a way to cope with their envy.
21. They give you gifts with strings attached.
When someone is secretly envious, they may give you gifts or favors but attach conditions or expectations to them. This could be an attempt to make you feel indebted or obligated to them, giving them a sense of control.
22. They subtly try to undermine you.
Instead of overtly sabotaging you, a jealous person might engage in subtle acts of sabotage. For example, they could “forget” to pass on important information, causing you inconvenience or disruption without leaving obvious traces.
23. They create drama and try to put you at the center of it.
Jealous individuals might try to create drama or chaos around you, indirectly affecting your peace and stability. They may incite conflicts or involve you in unnecessary situations to divert attention away from your accomplishments.
24. They use selective listening when you speak.
Secretly jealous people may exhibit selective listening, especially when you share your achievements or exciting news. They might appear disinterested or change the subject, avoiding conversations that highlight your success.
25. They’re overly pessimistic about anything to do with you.
Some people will respond to your positive news or plans with excessive pessimism. They may constantly highlight potential pitfalls or negative outcomes to dampen your enthusiasm and keep you from pursuing your goals. If this isn’t one of the biggest signs of jealousy, I don’t know what is.
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