11 Signs You’re Just Not Compatible No Matter How Much You Like Him

You might have been attracted to him based on his good looks, but solid relationships require so much more to keep going. Otherwise, dates are going to be boring and you actually may end up resenting him a little bit. Before you waste more time, here are some signs that you’re not as compatible as you think.

  1. You have zero interest hanging with him at game night. Whatever his Sunday night ritual with friends is, you’re simply not interested. It could be getting together to watch Game of Thrones, maybe just a board game night, or catching a football game on television. You tried it once, but even the socialization isn’t enough for you to stay longer than a half hour or so.
  2. You often get lost in conversations with him. It’s not that he’s smarter than you or vice versa, it’s just that the two of you can’t really find anything to talk about together. He’s not really in any hurry to bring you up to speed, so the “nod along” is a common maneuver for you.
  3. Arguments always end up being “you versus him.” He never really sees things from your point of view. He’s more content in winning the argument and not necessarily learning from it. This is a huge sign since, for the relationship to grow, the two of you need to figure out how to work together.
  4. He doesn’t understand a part of your lifestyle. Maybe you’re trying a vegan diet, or perhaps it’s important for you to go to the gym every Sunday for a yoga class to decompress. Regardless of what it is, he doesn’t really get it and doesn’t respect it. Either he’ll call it a phase or make you feel bad about doing something for your own emotional well-being. This is not good.
  5. You’re afraid to talk to him about the big stuff. For any relationship to work, you’ll have to talk about important issues. If you’re too afraid to or feel like his feelings may be hurt after getting real with him, you’re not on the same level. Don’t sell yourself short—there’s someone way more compatible for you out there.
  6. It takes forever to think up a gameplan. Just asking him what he wants to do over the weekend is pure torture and it happens every single time. You two can’t make up your minds, which means that most of your time together is spent in front of the TV. Any time you suggest something different, you can tell he’s just not feeling it.
  7. You’ve been tuning him out. You don’t mean to do it, it just naturally happens. Something inside your brain switches off and you find it’s hard to pay attention to him. He deserves someone who pays attention to him at least most of the time.
  8. He still hasn’t figured out your subtle clues. Listen, it’s always best to be direct, but how many times do you have to tell a guy you like flowers on special events? If you feel like you’re always reminding him how you like to be treated, he’s just not on the same page as you and doesn’t share your similar thoughts on romantic gestures.
  9. You’ve stopped having a crush on him. Not every relationship will be passionate 24/7. Having some burnout is natural, but if you just look at him and see an everyday person and can’t remember what attracted you to him in the first place, your compatibility is likely way off.
  10. Literally everything seems like a fight. It’s like the two of you can’t even talk without someone having an attitude. That usually means that there’s an anticipated result that comes from your communication and it’s not good. Simply put, you know he’s going to ignore you or not pay attention so you start out in a bit of a huff. This is incompatibility at its finest. Why stay in a relationship where you’re always upset?
  11. You’ve never booked a vacation since you both want different things. There are two different ways you can vacation. You can fill up a schedule with museum trips and exhibits, or you can lay out on a beach and just relax. The two of you have talked about planning something but it’s never happened since neither of you will budge on wants and needs. Maybe you should plan a solo vacation instead so that you end up getting everything you want.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.