Are you dating a POP — perfect on paper — guy? On the surface level, everything about them checks out or ticks all your boxes. They’re in a stable career, they’re reasonable and kind, and everyone loves them. But when you start dating this great guy, they’re actually not doing anything for you. Yikes. What’s happening? Here are 10 signs the guy is great but he’s the wrong guy for you. It’s sad, but it happens.
1. You Only Connect Physically.
Maybe the guy’s tall, dark, and handsome (what a cliche, right?). The point is, he’s hot and you feel a lot of lust when he’s around. That’s great, but if you’re only connecting with someone physically instead of mentally or emotionally, you’re not getting a full-package relationship. Someone who’s perfect on paper might try hard to appear perfect, which can cause them to struggle to form a deep connection with you.
2. You’re On Different Paths.
The person might be great but it could happen that you’re on different life paths. This is why it’s so important to chat about what you both want out of life before you get serious. You might wanna travel the world while they want to settle down and have kids. Or, maybe you want to work hard and pay off your loans while they want to buy a camper van and go on a road trip. You’re headed in completely different directions!
3. They Don’t Compromise.
He might be great, but that could cause him to think he’s always going to get his way. Wait, what? The thing to look out for when you start dating a great guy is if you can live together on a daily basis and put in hard work, such as compromise, to have a happy, satisfying relationship. If he’s not keen on meeting you halfway, you’re going to resent him. (BTW, if you’re sick of meeting people who never want to meet you halfway, you might be interested in our sister site, Sweetn. They have some pretty amazing advice on how to up your game in love to find better partners. Check them out here.)
4. There’s Literally No Spark.
Okay, so having a spark isn’t everything and sometimes it comes later. But you should still want to kiss the person and feel something when you do lock lips. If it feels like you’re kissing your brother, that’s so gross! Sadly, no matter how great someone is or how attractive they are, this doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to feel chemistry.
5. You Can’t Shake The Feeling Something’s “Off.”
Maybe everything’s going well but you just can’t seem to get rid of the feeling that something’s “off” with this guy. Or, maybe it’s not that there’s anything wrong with them, just that you’re not feeling the love. That’s okay. It happens. Give yourself some time to tap into your intuition and take stock of your feelings, so you can figure out if it’s time to GTFO of the relationship.
6. You Forget About Him When He’s Not Around.
When your BF’s out of town or working hard so you can’t see him for dinner, do you miss him? Or, do you totally forget about him until he resurfaces? Although it’s good to do your own thing and be independent in your relationship, it’s a red flag if you never think about or miss them when you don’t see them. Maybe you have more fun when they’re not around. Oops.
7. He’s Only Got Niceness Going For Him.
Maybe you raved about him being so nice when you first met him, but now you’re starting to realize that he’s only got niceness going for him – there’s nothing else that interests you. Honestly, it’s boring. You shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling this because you deserve someone who makes you feel excited about being with them. This guy’s not doing that at all. Ugh.
8. He’s A People Pleaser.
Linked to niceness, a great guy might be a people pleaser who’s always going the extra mile to impress others and help them out. While that’s great, and it makes him a dream to your parents, it can set some alarm bells ringing. He might not have boundaries or be able to say “no.” You don’t want to be stuck with a doormat or someone who’s “kindness” is masking a hidden agenda. Seriously, it’s dodgy.
9. You’re Getting Friend Vibes.
Maybe when you hang out with this guy, it feels like you’re friends instead of romantic partners. Maybe you don’t go on actual dates or you call each other “bro.” Yikes. Or, maybe you don’t have relationship expectations or goals. You’re just sort of drifting along to… a dead-end relationship. Although you don’t want to rush through milestones when you start dating, you should still feel like you’re moving forward. With this guy, you might be stuck in a rut.
10. He Can’t Relax.
When hanging with the new guy you’re dating, do you feel like he never relaxes? He’s always on guard as though he’s on TV, trying to be the perfect guy that everyone loves. Maybe he never stops being funny or charming, and it all feels like an act. While people seem to fall for it, you just want to tell him to be real. He can’t chill out with you and be authentic, so there’s no connection. He’s the wrong guy for you, as much as it sucks to admit.
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