Are You Single By Choice Or Just Completely Undateable?

Are You Single By Choice Or Just Completely Undateable? ©iStock/stock_colors

We all like to think there’s someone out there for us somewhere, and it’s only a matter of time before we find them and live happily ever after. Or something like that. But what if you already met the person you’re supposed to be with and they didn’t look twice at you because your life was such a mess? There are no guarantees in life, or love, and it’s up to you to be the kind of girl no guy could resist. If you’ve decided you’re ready for love, and it doesn’t seem to be happening, maybe you need to look inward and figure out if the person you’re putting out into the world is really capable of attracting the love you want. If you’re finding it difficult, the answer may be with you more than the men you’re seeking.

  1. You’re too needy. Of course guys like to feel needed by the girl their seeing, but he’s not going to be impressed if you suddenly can’t go a few hours without talking to him, and need constant confirmation that he’s into you.
  2. You’re a nag. No guy wants a girlfriend who acts like his mother. If you’ve only been on a few dates and you’re already text-reminding him to eat his vegetables, and hang up his wet towels, don’t be surprised if he stops responding.
  3. You’re desperate. You just want a boyfriend, any boyfriend. You’ll latch onto the first guy to look at you, and hold on for dear life. If he starts to feel like he has to shake you off his leg like a dog in heat, it’s a bad sign.
  4. You don’t have your own life. You’re essentially just waiting for a guy to invite you into his life, because you don’t have any hobbies, or friends of your own to keep you occupied. Unfortunately, this makes you so painfully uninteresting that guys will end up moving on to a girl who can actually hold her end of a conversation.
  5. You don’t take care of yourself. Your diet leaves something to be desired, and the last time you got your heart rate up was when the elevator broke down at the office. Your grooming habits are virtually nonexistent as well, and while you may think you’re just endearingly low maintenance, guys usually like girls who will at least put in a little effort to smell nice.
  6. You’re way too jealous. If you could, you’d slap a male chastity belt on every guy you date, and never let him out of your sight when he might be in the presence of other women. Better safe than sorry, right?
  7. You’re superficial. All you care about is how you look, and what other people think of the person you’re dating. Your number one goal is to have people think you have the perfect relationship, no matter how messed up it is behind closed doors. It’s all about keeping up appearances.
  8. You let your past baggage control you. Whether your mean to or not, you end up projecting every negative experience you’ve ever had with men onto the new guys you meet. You stubbornly stick to generalizations like “all men are pigs” because you’ve known a couple who were, so that must mean all of them are.
  9. A relationship is your last priority. While it’s perfectly fine to be focusing on your career, and yourself right now, it’s not okay to expect a relationship to develop when you put absolutely no effort into it. If you don’t have time for dating, then don’t date.
  10. You have too many walls up. There comes a point that if you want a relationship to get to the next level, you’re going to have to open up a little. Maybe none of your relationships move past the casual dating stage because you’re completely unwilling to be a little vulnerable and let a guy get to know the real you.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.