I’m Finally In A Real Relationship… And Now I Have Single Girl FOMO

At first, I didn’t really enjoy being single. It was a grind — an endless parade of debaucherous nights with guys who ghosted, benched, and zombied me with no potential boyfriends in sight. All I’ve ever wanted is a solid, decent relationship, and recently, I finally found one. The problem is that now I kinda have single FOMO and miss being on my own.

  1. I love my boyfriend but I miss the pursuit. There’s nothing like dating butterflies during those first few weeks/months. I was excited to see where things went, who he was, how we would get along. Everything was unknown. I wondered if I should fight the feelings of immediate attraction because I wasn’t sure if I’d need an exit strategy. After all, there might be a better guy out there for me, but how would I ever know when I’m in a committed relationship already?
  2. Weirdly enough, I miss the Tinder dates. I honestly don’t know why. There’s nothing worse than a bad Tinder date —how you have to weed through hundreds of profiles and pray the one you swiped on isn’t a creep, a ghost-er, or just gross in person. Still, that feeling can also be exhilarating. I loved not knowing who was going to sit down in front of me. There was a certain anticipation and adrenaline that takes over. Not only was I trying to see if this Tinder guy was the person he said he was, but I was meeting someone new who knew nothing about me and vice versa. I miss the clean slate.
  3. I’m jealous of my single friends. I used to hate being single; I was always the girl in a relationship with no break in between. Once my last serious relationship ended, I forced myself to be single for a year. I LOVED it! I traveled, went out more, enjoying going to the movies alone… I rocked at being single. Now, I still enjoy traveling and going out, but it’s not just me making those decisions anymore. I have to be respectful of someone else’s feelings too. There’s no more reckless abandon and having the bed all to myself. I have to think in double, not in single now. As great as it can be, it kinda sucks sometimes.
  4. I miss being single and selfish. This is a huge source of my single FOMO. Having to consider someone else in everything I do is something I struggle with. When I was single, I only had to think about my wants and needs. Now, I have to add someone else to the mix. For example, I may want to go out with my girlfriends to a bar but my boyfriend might be sick and needs me to stay in. The smallest things I never thought about when I was single become big things in a relationship. I’m still selfish when it comes to my emotional wants and needs, but in a relationship, there always has to be room for compromise whether I like it or not.
  5. I’m not a cheater but I miss casual hookups. There’s no way to explain this without seeming like a hot mess. I’m not saying that I want to hook up with every guy on the planet, I’m just saying there’s something to be said about a relationship with no strings attached or sleeping with someone new. It’s kind of thrilling—I love the feeling of being with someone for the first time and being completely in tune to each other while discovering their body. There’s an authentic excitement there. Don’t get me wrong, that can be created and evolve in a serious, monogamous relationship, but there’s nothing like the first time with someone new.
  6. I daydream about the man in the Starbucks line. This is so embarrassing to admit. There are times when I’ll see a really good-looking guy and think, “What if…” and start to daydream about him. The single me would spark up a conversation, flirt with my eyes, and basically make it my mission to get the guy. Now, because I’m in a relationship, I can only daydream about it. But it isn’t just any daydream—I pretty much go from A to Z in a matter of 60 seconds—how we’d look in pictures, what nicknames we’d give each other. Our whole lives planned in a minute and he’s none the wiser.
  7. Single girl FOMO makes me think, “What’s the point of being in a relationship?” I can’t believe I just said that—me, the girl who’s always wanted a relationship, the fairytale wedding, and the 2.5 kids. Now, there are times I think, “What’s the point? Can relationships survive?” At some point, should we all just start realizing that relationships don’t last forever? That eventually, we’ll end up on the single girl side of the line? The pessimist wants me to believe that but I can’t. At least when I’m single, I only depend on myself and the chance of getting hurt no longer phases me.
  8. I miss the table for one. There are nights I wish I had the bed to myself, that I had full control of the remote, and when I just want to be a single again. I don’t miss the endless pursuit of finding The Guy, going home alone only to go out the next night and do it all over again. However, I do miss the unknown of it all—the adventure, the independence, and knowing that I could do it all. That fearlessness is what I miss, and it’s what I hope to find in my relationship.
Born and Raised in Las Vegas. Currently live in Lala Land (aka Hollywood). BA in English. I live at the beach any chance I get. Obsessions/loves include paddle boarding, laughing , Sunday brunches & relationship horror stories. Searching for answers one horror story at a time, while trying to find love and a little laughter.