Things were going well, or so you thought. You were on the road toward a fulfilling long-term relationship… until the guy ghosted you, vanishing into thin air without a word. But now he’s back, “liking” pictures of your recent vacation on Instagram and your sexy selfies on Facebook. What’s up with him? Is he for real?
- He doesn’t want to lose touch. He’s hoping that he can sweeten you up to ensure he stays on your mind and in your heart so that he has a chance to date you if he wants to take it in future. What a jerk. He’s the one who pushed you out of his life, so he can’t expect to creep back in without even apologizing or being real about why he disappeared in the first place.
- He doesn’t realize how awkward he’s being (or just doesn’t care). He could call you up to say hey, but that feels awkward AF, especially if he suspects that you’d hang up on him. At least with social media, he can hide behind a screen and say hello in the form of “likes.” It’s also a clever way to test the temperature. If you don’t “like” his stuff back or contact him properly, then he knows you’re completely out of reach. What a coward.
- He doesn’t want to be with you, but… Just because he’s approved of your gorgeous selfie, it doesn’t mean that he’s hoping for a second chance. He’s just hoping you’ll THINK that he is so that you’ll leave the door open for him to possibly step in again.
- He’s lazy. He doesn’t want to make a lot of effort. That’s why he bolted the first time, choosing to be remembered as a jerk rather than a guy who deserved your time. This “liking” business fits in with his personality. Instead of making a real effort, like by texting or calling you and having a real conversation, he’ll put in a tiny bit of effort just hoping to catch your eye.
- Yup, he wants attention. The guy who crazily “likes” all your social media posts might be seen as wanting to shower you with attention, but it’s possibly all about him. He wants the attention. He wants you to talk about him to his friends. He wants to know that your heart still skips a beat when he’s around, so really, it’s not about you at all. Don’t be flattered.
- He hopes you’ll still be down for sex sometime. He obviously liked you before he ghosted you, and now that he’s seeing you looking happy and gorgeous on social media he’s hoping that you can remain an option if he needs one in future when he’s bored or horny on a Saturday night. By “liking” his way into your good books again, he can booty call you at a later date without feeling weird about it. Oh, hell no.
- He wants you to think he’s into you. He’s an arrogant guy who thinks that he can waltz back into your life in any shape or form and get a standing ovation. He might even do this just to stroke his own ego, to show himself that he can still get you to be interested if he wants.
- He’s feeling nostalgic. When he saw you looking happy on Instagram, he couldn’t help but be transported back in time to when the two of you were together, so he ended up going through all your posts on his little nostalgic trip. It doesn’t mean he wants to have another shot with you, though. If he did, he’d be putting loads more effort than just “liking” a beach selfie, for goodness’ sake.
- He feels guilty. Maybe his social media antics are just about feeling guilty for what he did — and he should be torn up about it because he missed out on an amazing woman! Either way, don’t feel sorry for him. He’s a jerk if he thinks “liking” your social media posts is going to make up for what he did to you.
- He wants to know if you’ve moved on. He was on social media and decided to check out your Facebook profile since you’re still listed as friends. He wanted to see what you’ve been up to and if you’re dating someone else. He “liked” your pictures because he likes that you’re still single. He might be one of those competitive guys who doesn’t want to be with you but doesn’t want you to be with anyone else either. And, if you’re still single, then there’s always hope for a little catch-up between the sheets (or so he thinks).
- It’s just a few “likes” — it’s not that deep. Of course, there’s always the chance that this guy is really just “liking” everyone’s posts. Check out some of his other friends or followers to see if he’s “liking” their holiday snaps and status updates. It’s good to bear in mind that a “like” doesn’t have to mean anything more. If they bother you, you should just block the guy. After he ghosted you, he deserves it.
What to do when you like a guy and he ghosted you
- Don’t blame yourself. It’s so easy to take ghosting personally when really, it has nothing to do with you. This guy didn’t go AWOL from your life because you were deficient in some way or because you did something wrong. He did it because he’s an immature jerk who doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings and likely has a fear of commitment. That has nothing to do with you, so don’t internalize this as a rejection. It’s not.
- Practice self-care. When you were getting your hopes up about a guy and end up getting ghosted, you’re going to feel crushed. While it’s easy for your friends to say that he’s not worth your time and you shouldn’t bother thinking about him, it doesn’t work like that. Your feelings are valid and important. Feel them, and then look after yourself as you process them. Be gentle with yourself by eating well, looking after your body, and doing things that make you feel good. Take long baths or long walks, get some extra sleep, and make sure you’re being good to you.
- Don’t bother chasing him. As tempting as it is to go after the guy who ghosted you and convince him to stick around, don’t bother. If he was worth your time, he wouldn’t have wasted it by getting you interested only to leave without a trace just when things were getting good. If he could up and walk out of your life without a second thought now, what kind of potential partner would he make? Not a good one, that’s for sure. It’s better to let him go now and wait for someone who sees your worth and treats you accordingly.
- Act like he doesn’t exist. He ghosted you, so act like he’s a ghost. Forget him. Consider him dead and gone. Go about your life as if you’d never met him. It will be hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Keep your eyes and heart open to other people who you may have a deeper connection with and who aren’t afraid of being vulnerable and giving a relationship their all.
- Don’t respond if and when he comes back from the dead. Who cares if he starts liking your social media posts after a little while? That doesn’t mean you have to acknowledge it or respond. He’s being a coward by making his presence known without actually contacting you to apologize for being a jerk and trying to make it up to you. What’s his point, really? Does he think you’re going to come running to him and beg him to start dating you again? If so, he has another thing coming.