One of the worst things a partner can do is try to cut you off from the rest of your life – your friends, your family, the things you love, or even your own money. It often starts small, with little comments here and there, but before you know it, they’re in total control, and you feel completely alone. This kind of stuff is scary and dangerous, so if you notice the signs that your partner is trying to isolate you, get out while you can.
1. They want all your time.
At first, this seems pretty sweet. They want to be around you all the time, so they make plans that take up the entire weekend just so that they can see you as much as possible. Sadly, this isn’t about genuine enthusiasm for your company — this is their way of dominating you.
2. They always set one-on-one dates.
While one-on-one dates are the best for quality time, it’s a red flag when a partner never wants to share you with anyone else, whether that includes your friends or even their friends. They avoid group dates like a plague because they’re jealous of you connecting with other people.
3. They always make excuses for not seeing your loved ones.
When you want to hang out with your friends and you invite your partner, they always seem to have an excuse for why they can’t attend the gathering. For example, they might say that they’re busy or tired. They just don’t want to be around anyone who’s important to you because they want to be your priority.
4. They get moody when you can’t see them.
Again, this might be something that seems sweet at first, but it’s actually really shady. Someone who’s trying to control and isolate you will get a major attitude when you can’t see them. They might say that they love you so much, which is their way of trying to make you feel bad for not being around them.
5. They make you feel guilty for spending time with your friends.
Soon, their sulky attitude and moodiness will become an attempt at guilt-tripping you when you want to spend time with people outside of the relationship. So, they might say something like, “I can’t believe you’re leaving me alone on a Saturday night.” Don’t they have their own friends? Hobbies? Anything besides you?
6. They like your friends, then start disliking them.
When someone’s trying to isolate you, they’re not going to tell you they don’t like your loved ones right away — that would push you away. Instead, they do it slowly. When they first hear about or meet your family and friends, they’ll say how much they like them. Then, as time goes by, they’ll find reasons why they’re toxic, problematic, and just no good in general.
7. They start spreading trash talk about the people you care about.
They might start telling you bad things about your loved ones in an attempt to make you turn against them. This also gives them a reason to avoid social gatherings with them, which puts you in the uncomfortable position of having to choose who you want to spend time with.
8. They ask you for your passwords.
It might sound like an activity of trust when the person you’re dating asks you for your passwords, but in reality, it’s so controlling! They might say that they want your passwords because you should have nothing to hide, but they really just want to keep track of your interactions.
9. They use drama to try to make you change your plans.
When you’re ready to head out with your friends, your partner might suddenly have something they need help with or they feel sick out of nowhere. It’s all about creating drama so they can make you change your plans and be with them.
10. They use your past against you.
Someone who’s trying to isolate you will never let you forget your past mistakes and experiences. If you were abandoned by a previous partner, they might say, “This is why they walked away from you.” They do this to make you doubt yourself and lack self-esteem so you settle into the relationship with them.
11. They’re grumpy around the people you love.
If your partner does spend time with your friends and family, they might try to make those people want to move away from you. They do this by being moody or grumpy around them. Who wants to hang around someone who’s so negative all the time?
12. They say your hobbies are a waste of time.
A partner who’s trying to control you might pull you away from your hobbies and interests. They might call the things you spend your time on stupid or silly, and it’s their way of making you spend even more time with them.
13. They engage in triangulation.
If you’re dealing with a narcissist, they might do what’s called triangulation. This is when they try to inch closer to your favorite loved ones as a way to become closer to them than you are. They’re trying to one-up you while pulling you away from those you love.
14. They check in all the time.
When you’re away from your partner, your phone keeps blowing up with texts from them. They might seem to be innocently checking in, but they’re trying to monitor your movements.
15. They attack your independence.
You’re an independent, strong person, and yet this person’s trying to lock you down and make you more dependent on them. They might do this in various ways, such as by making you reliant on them for approval or resources.
16. They control your money.
When the relationship starts becoming serious, you might notice how your partner tries to control your money. They might track how much you earn and what you spend your money on. They might try to divert your money to other things so you can’t do what you please with it. Or, they’ll tell you to get a less time-consuming job so you can spend more time on the relationship.
17. They rain on your dream parade.
To keep you locked into the relationship, your partner might belittle your dreams or make you doubt your ability to achieve them. It’s their way of keeping you close and directing the relationship where they want it to go.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
