Although we keep being told that communication is a two-way street, sometimes it feels like people just want to talk without really listening to you. It’s so annoying because you always feel like you’re invisible or that people just don’t care. Here are 11 behaviors you’ll easily spot in bad listeners and poor communicators. Which ones have you been on the receiving end of?
1. They’re Addicted To Interrupting.
Bad listeners don’t just interrupt you once – they always interrupt and ignore what you say. It’s like they’re addicted to jumping into conversations and making everyone listen to them. You’re always being cut off mid-sentence or feeling like you don’t have energy to continue speaking because you can’t get a word in.
2. They Give You Unsolicited Advice.
You were chatting about your relationship issues without wanting the bad listener to give you advice, but that’s exactly what they’re doing. They always want to solve your problems, instead of just listening to what you have to express. If you’re guilty of this, try to practice active listening so you can acknowledge what the other person’s saying. Only give the person advice if they ask for it.
3. Their Minds Wander.
You’re knee-deep in a conversation, but you can’t help but feel like the other person’s not listening to you anymore. You can spot signs that their mind is wandering, such as that their eyes are starting to glaze over or they’re looking around at other people in their surroundings. Maybe they’re stifling a yawn or checking their phone. So rude!
4. Â They’re Guilty Of Selective Hearing.
Selective hearing is when someone picks out a few things in the words you’re saying and totally ignores everything else. Yup, it’s a potential minefield! They’re not kind enough to listen to everything you say, which can lead to misunderstandings and make you feel frustrated because they’re only getting snippets of stuff.
5. They’re The King Or Queen Of Monologues.
People who struggle to listen tend to be big on talking. They want the spotlight, so they’ll turn everything they say into a long monologue that would make Shakespeare roll his eyes. It’s difficult to talk to them, because you feel like you can never share your opinion. By the time they’re finished, it’s like they’ve given you a lecture and you’re tired.
6. Â They Brush You Off.
Someone who’s a bad listener might be so obsessed with their own words and voice that they don’t care about what you have to bring to the table. So, if you’re talking to them about something emotional, they might quickly brush off your feelings so they don’t have to engage with you. Ouch. They don’t care about anyone else’s feelings or views.
7. They Have Conversation Amnesia.
You told your friend about the date you went on, but when you mention it at a later stage, they act like you didn’t tell them. Woah, were they totally tuned out of the conversation? If you find yourself telling the person, “Yeah, I already told you about that” regularly, clearly they’re never mentally present. They’re probably checking out of your relationship too.
8. They Make Noises While You Talk.
Although the person might’ve been told they should make little sounds during conversation to encourage the speaker, such as “Right” or “Hmm”, if they do this all the time, it can be confusing and distracting. It’s like they’re just trying to make you think they’re listening, but they’re not! The same goes for how they try to nod their head a lot.
9. They Don’t Ask Questions.
After you’ve had a chance to speak, does this person just jump onto another topic or grab the spotlight instead of asking you follow-up questions? If so, this is a clear sign they’re not truly listening to you and their lack of interest is offensive, quite frankly. You should always try to ask people questions so you give them conversation closure, instead of just dismissing their words.
10. They Don’t Make Eye Contact.
Trying to have a conversation with someone can be challenging if they’re not really looking at you. It’s like you have to try to chase their eyes around the room to make some eye contact! It’s so frustrating because it’s like they’re looking around for a distraction or an exit from the interaction. Eye contact is so important during conversation because it’s body language that puts people at ease.
11. They Sigh Or Breathe Loudly.
It’ll throw you off if the person you’re chatting with keeps sighing or breathing loudly. What, are they annoyed with you or getting irritated about having to talk to you? It really doesn’t feel good, especially if you really care about the person you’re trying to connect with. Be a good listener (’cause they’re clearly not) by politely ending the chat so they can go do something else that doesn’t make them so annoying. Bye, Felicia!
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