Only Someone Who Lacks Emotional Maturity Does These Things

Only Someone Who Lacks Emotional Maturity Does These Things

Ever been around someone and thought, “Wow, are we even on the same emotional page?” Sometimes it’s not about age but about how mature someone is emotionally. I’m not talking about being serious all the time – it’s more about handling feelings and relationships like a pro. Here are 15 tell-tale signs that someone lacks emotional maturity and needs to grow up.

1. They Can’t Handle Criticism.

We all know that one person who just can’t take a hint, right? Like, you gently suggest a tiny improvement and they act as if you’ve declared war. If they get super defensive or throw a fit every time they’re given constructive feedback, chances are, they’re not too emotionally mature. It’s like walking on eggshells – you never know what will set them off. They take everything personally, and a simple suggestion becomes a full-blown attack in their eyes.

2. They’re the King or Queen of Overreactions.

Ever see someone lose it over the smallest thing? Like, they spill coffee and it’s suddenly the end of the world. If they have a habit of making mountains out of molehills, it’s a pretty big red flag that they can’t regulate their emotions well. They’ll make a huge deal out of something minor, and before you know it, there’s a whole drama unfolding over something that should have been a non-issue. It’s exhausting, honestly.

3. They Avoid Tough Conversations.

This one’s a classic. If they vanish into thin air every time there’s a serious topic on the table, it’s not a great sign. Emotional maturity means being able to face difficult chats, not ghosting when things get a bit real. They might dodge calls, leave texts unanswered, or change the subject. It’s like they have an invisibility cloak for anything serious. It’s frustrating and makes solving problems together pretty much impossible.

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4. They Play the Blame Game.

Some people just can’t accept that they might be wrong sometimes. If they’re always pointing fingers and never taking responsibility for their actions, it’s like dealing with a toddler in an adult’s body. They’re quick to shift the blame to anyone but themselves. It’s never their fault, and they have an excuse for everything. It’s a sign they’re not ready to look inward and own up to their mistakes.

5. They Struggle with Commitment.

Now, this isn’t about being afraid of labels or taking things slow. It’s about those who bail the second things require a bit of effort or consistency. If they treat commitments like they’re allergic to them, it’s a sign of emotional immaturity. They might jump from one thing to the next, never really sticking around long enough to build something real. Whether it’s jobs, hobbies, or relationships, they’re always on the move, avoiding any real ties.

6. They’re the Center of Their Own Universe.

You know those people who think the world revolves around them? If everything always has to be about them and they show little interest in others, it’s like they skipped the empathy class in life school. They’re the main character in every story, and everyone else is just a side character. It’s all ‘me, me, me,’ and they hardly ever stop to consider someone else’s feelings or viewpoints.

7. They Have Zero Chill.

Some folks just can’t handle being alone or chilling out. They need constant action or attention, kind of like a kid who needs to be entertained 24/7. Being comfortable with some quiet time is a sign of emotional maturity they might be missing. They’re always buzzing around, looking for the next thing to keep them occupied. It’s like they’re afraid of just being with their thoughts, which is a big part of emotional growth.

8. They’re a Drama Magnet.

Oh, the drama! If their life is like a soap opera and they seem to thrive on chaos, chances are they’re not super emotionally mature. Mature adults aim for peace and stability, not constant ups and downs. They might even create drama because it’s a way to get attention or avoid dealing with their own issues. It’s like they’re addicted to the rollercoaster of emotions, but it’s really not healthy for anyone involved.

9. They Can’t Say Sorry.

Apologizing is tough, but it’s part of being a grown-up. If they never apologize or admit when they’re wrong, it’s like they’re stuck in the ‘always right’ phase of childhood. It shows they’re not willing to reflect on their actions or consider how they’ve affected others. And let’s be honest, saying sorry is a huge part of fixing things and moving forward. Without that, you’re just stuck in a loop.

10. They Gossip Non-Stop.

Ever met someone who just loves to spill the tea on everyone? Sure, a little gossip can be harmless, but if they’re constantly talking about others behind their backs, it’s a sign of emotional immaturity. It’s like they find joy in other people’s drama or misfortunes, and that’s not cool. Mature folks know that gossip can hurt and try to steer clear of it. Plus, it shows a lack of trustworthiness – if they’re dishing dirt on others, who’s to say you’re not their next topic? It’s all about craving attention and feeling important, but in a super unhealthy way.

11. They Can’t Deal with Being Wrong.

Okay, so no one loves being wrong, but some people just can’t handle it at all. If they argue to the death over the smallest mistakes, or twist facts to make themselves right, it’s a pretty clear sign they’re not emotionally mature. It’s about their ego needing to be right all the time, and that can be super annoying to deal with. It’s like they see admitting fault as a weakness, not a part of normal human life. This can lead to endless arguments about the most trivial things, and honestly, who has time for that? It’s about winning for them, not about understanding or learning.

12. They’re Jealous Over the Littlest Things.

Jealousy is normal to a point, but if they’re getting envious over every little thing, like your achievements or even your other relationships, it’s a red flag. It shows they’re not secure in themselves and need constant reassurance. Plus, it can get pretty exhausting having to deal with their jealousy all the time. It’s like they’re constantly comparing themselves to everyone else and can’t be happy for others’ success. This insecurity can put a real strain on your relationship, making you feel like you can’t share good news without setting them off. It’s a sign they need to work on their self-esteem.

13. They Can’t Handle Their Emotions.

We all get upset or angry, but it’s how we deal with those emotions that matters. If they’re throwing tantrums, yelling, or shutting down over normal life stuff, it’s a sign they haven’t quite mastered the art of emotional regulation. It’s like they’re on an emotional rollercoaster and expect you to be the seatbelt. It’s not just about expressing emotions; it’s about how they express them. If they’re lashing out or going into a shell every time they’re upset, it’s a problem. Mature adults find healthier ways to deal with their feelings, like talking it out or taking a moment to cool down.

14. They Need Constant Validation.

Everyone likes a compliment now and then, but if they need constant praise and reassurance, it’s a bit much. It’s like they need you to constantly prove you like them or think they’re great. It can be draining and, honestly, a bit needy. Emotional maturity means being confident in yourself without needing others to constantly boost your ego. It’s great to support each other, but it shouldn’t feel like a full-time job reassuring them. If they’re always fishing for compliments or getting upset when they don’t get praised, it’s a sign they’re not quite there emotionally.

15. They Make Everything a Competition.

Some friendly competition is fun, but if everything is a contest with them, watch out. Whether it’s who has the worst day or who’s busier, it’s a sign they always need to feel like they’re winning or suffering the most. It’s a weird way to seek attention and definitely not a trait of someone who’s emotionally mature. It’s exhausting, always feeling like you’re in a race you didn’t sign up for. It’s not just about fun and games; it’s about their need to feel superior or more hard-done-by than anyone else. In a way, it’s their insecurity showing up as a competitive streak.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.