I Was Striking Out Online But I’ve Been Meeting Tons Of Guys In Real Life By Doing These Things

I’m honestly over the whole online dating thing. It’s emotionally exhausting and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Incidentally, ever since I’ve gotten rid of my apps and started doing these things, meeting guys in real life has been a total breeze.

  1. I actually “look up” when I walk down the street. I’ve stopped looking at my phone constantly when I’m in public and instead I try to actively take in my surroundings. It’s more calming and I’m way more likely to notice someone I like or who’s trying to catch my eye. People are also more likely to approach me for directions or a question when I don’t have my eyes glued to my phone or when I’m listening to music. You’d be surprised how well this works!
  2. I have an “open” attitude. When I’m out, I try as best as I can to put out the vibe that I’m approachable and friendly. It sounds dumb, but when you put out positive energy and make it known that people can and should talk to you, they actually do.
  3. I don’t go on my phone when I’m in public. I miss SO much when I’m looking through my texts and tweets. What’s happening around me is what I should be paying attention to, not my Insta feed. No amount of online communication will measure up to a face-to-face interaction, so I’ve ditched the dating apps and started paying more attention to the people who were right in front of me. It just feels better that way.
  4. If I need directions, I purposely ask the cutest guy I see. This is the equivalent of dropping a handkerchief in the olden days. I’m creating an opportunity for the guy I ask to take it somewhere and no big deal if he doesn’t—he might already be taken or he’s just straight up not interested, but at least I put myself out there. Asking for directions is a great way to start a conversation with a cute stranger without it getting awkward. It’s a low-pressure situation and will get me a high reward if it works out.
  5. I use eye contact to my advantage. The eyes tell all. Think about how much information you can gather from someone just by looking into their eyes. I decided I’d better start using this to my advantage. A good way to start making eye contact without totally failing is to act like you’re looking for a friend—that way, if you lock eyes with someone, it’ll seem like an accident. It’s a really great way to survey the area for any potential hotties.
  6. I take some vocational classes on the side. I needed to expand my social circle so I decided to sign up for some classes in things I’m interested in. I’m doing an acting 101 class and the people I’ve been meeting are great! If there’s anything you’ve been wanting to learn, sign up for a class—you won’t regret it.
  7. I make it clear to my friends that I’m actively looking for someone to date. I make sure I’m open with my friends about how I’m on a search for a guy so that the next time they meet someone who’s cute, they’ll think of me and maybe do a set-up. I’ve done it multiple times for friends so I know they can do it for me too. The more I keep talking about it, the more likely I’ll be the first one that pops into their mind when they’re trying to set a friend up.
  8. I go to places alone. If I’m meeting a friend, I’ll sometimes show up early to be that mysterious, lonely girl in the bar, making myself that much easier to approach. It’s great because there’s a time limit, so if any creepers come up, my friend will be able to shoo them away when she gets there. It’s also totally not weird AT ALL to show up early for something so I’m completely innocent. I’ll also generally go to the movies or coffeeshops alone to see who I can attract.
  9. I’m getting comfortable talking to strangers. Talking to people I don’t know used to be super scary for me. Honestly, it still kinda is, but the more I get used to having casual conversations with the lady at the grocery store or the guy behind me in line at the bank, or even the waitress, talking to cute guys becomes a lot easier to do.
  10. I organize events and encourage friends to bring people they know. When I plan an outing with a few friends, I always tell them to bring people. I’ve found a lot of dates this way. I don’t specifically say to bring cute guys, just to bring friends and maybe that friend will be the guy who wants to date me! You never know!
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.