The Struggles Of Dating When You Still Love Someone Else

Some people claim that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Of course, that’s easier said than done. When you’re still in love with someone else, it’s difficult to go out on dates and act like everything is normal. That’s why so many women struggle with new relationships when they’re still stuck in the past.

  1. You compare every other man to him. It doesn’t matter if you meet a new man with a high-paying job and a heart of gold, because you’ll be upset that he doesn’t have the sense of humor that your ex did. No one can compare to the man you’re still in love with, no matter how impressive they look on paper.
  2. Everything reminds you of him. You don’t want to take your new boyfriend to your favorite restaurant, because that’s where you and your ex used to eat. You don’t want to bring him home either, because he might sit in the chair your ex used to sit in. Everything reminds you of your past, so no place is safe.
  3. You can’t stop mentioning him. You know it’s a faux pas to mention your ex during a date, but you can’t help yourself. It doesn’t matter if you talk about how big of a sweetheart he was or how big of a loser he was, because either way your current date won’t be happy about your fixation. It might even scare him away, and then you’ll be alone again.
  4. You feel like you’re cheating on him. Even though you broke up with your ex a long time ago, it feels like you’re cheating whenever you go out with someone else. There’s no reason for you to feel that way, but you can’t help it. Your ex is your true love, so being with anyone else just feels wrong.
  5. You fantasize about him. Whenever you kiss someone new, your ex’s face pops into your mind. Of course, you also fantasize about him whenever you have sex with someone else too, because he’s the only one you really want to be with. It’s unfair to the person you’re actually sleeping with, but you don’t care, because he means nothing to you.
  6. You try to make him jealous. You’re not crazy about the boy you’ve been casually seeing, but you post pictures of him and write statuses about him, just to make your ex jealous. You want him to think that you’re  actually happy with someone else.
  7. You avoid commitment. Rebound sex is entirely different than a rebound relationship. That’s why you’ll try to keep your distance from any men who really seem to like you. Sure, you’ll go out on a few dates with them, but if they try to exchange house keys, you’ll freak out. You can’t move fast when you’re still stuck in the past.
  8. You wonder if there’s still a chance. Even if you find a new man you’d feel comfortable dating, you won’t want to change your relationship status, because you think there’s still a chance that you and your ex will get back together. You love him, after all, so you want to keep your options open.
  9. Seeing him brings you back to square one. When you think that you’re finally ready to move on, your ex will show up at the supermarket. As soon as you stumble across him, all of your feelings will come back to the surface. You’ve never stopped loving him, so seeing him again will feel like a punch in the gut.
  10. You don’t want anyone else. You won’t give any other guy a fair chance, because he’ll never be what you want. All you want is your ex.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.